Week 27 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Good morning all!  Today I practised for around 30 mins. The weather is fine and the pollen is out in force, so I feel a bit bunged up and sleepy.

I started my tube medi almost as soon as I got on the train. It took me a couple of stops to become focused after a few sneezes. As ever planning thoughts were in my head. As they cleared I cycled through the senses quickly and eventually dropped into zone 2 (using London Underground terminology) - which I define as peripheral awareness good, alertness a bit fuzzy. Two women got on and sat opposite me and I thought they would chat, but instead one went on her phone and the other read the newspaper. As my neighbour to my right fidgeted a waft of pleasant perfume came my way. I heard a strange noise and realise that it was my neighbour clearing his throat, he answered a call and then I confirmed that the noise came from him!

About half way through I felt the phone vibrate in my bag indicating a call, I looked at it, and it was a supplier who works with us. I resisted the temptation to answer as I was actually not yet in the office. I figured - not a lot that I can do if I'm not there, if I get involved, I'll end up having to interrupt my practice and then be grumpy. I actually was already irritated that she called me so even though I settled back down to meditate, there was a dark mood over me. My boss had arranged a meeting without asking me to babysit it (since he is not in the office today), so as they say..."I know nothing..." except I am Lizipedia...and I always know what's happening. Far too reliable, must fix that. Any tips?

As we pulled into Hammersmith, I saw my connecting train coming in on the next platform, and I managed to hop on and grab a seat. As I looked at my phone (no text message or voicemail left from supplier), I then saw the call id of my boss calling me. Nope, not answering! Feeling particularly non-collaborative today. Usually I would be rushing to answer these calls, but as I wasn't at work yet and I was still in meditation mode, I just watched the call disappear...and then he called again! Still after the calls, no message or voicemail left, so I would have received the steaming pile of !*£&!" on my lap and would not be able to resolve anything as I went out of service going underground. I mindfully mused apon my actions, pondering whether I really should extend this contract or not (not necessarily working for this current boss - who is lovely by the way) because at the moment, I simply am not bothered. My boss was probably sitting in his outdoor garden office in his house in Greece, so as I am now sitting in an enclosed office looking of the window in polluted London - do not feel bad for him!

I returned to practice. The little black cloud was still over my head, and today, no tourists were on the train for me to observe. The train seemed empty today - it's a Thursday - start of the weekend for some maybe? And the journey was a bit of a blur for a bit, until i decided to start writing this post up - still with black cloud overhead.

I feel I have more energy as I have done two exercise classes this week (wahay!). The downside is that my knee hurts. Can I get a replacement leg please from The Island?

Ah this is but a rambling tome. I may go home and nurse my knee and meditate again in a more conducive mood and environment. However, I must accept that practice is as it is, and even though I feel it's not "productive" enough, it shows that life goes on around me, even if I've put the sign up "Please do not disturb!".

Have a great day and practice! 🐽 💜 🐽

27/5