Week 37 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and observe raw sensations

Morning all! back on the tube again. Today I attempted to be in the carriage rather than plan my day at work. It lasted about 10 minutes so I spent the rest of the time batting off thought trains. Amazing what one can sense with eyes shut and then momentarily opening them. Just shows how little I notice with my eyes open all the time!

Metta to myself, Dean and my family at the end.

Well gotta hang on for 3 days then it will be a golf fest. Woohoo!  Anyhoo today I will see if I can make a few mindful notes about my reactions to situations. Let's see! Might all go out the window as I step into the office! 😀

Have a great day! 🐽 💜 🐽

37/2

Week 37 Day 1

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Evening all!  Today 30 mins at the end of a lovely sunny day golfing.

Today the room was warm and half way through I had to turn the fan on. I felt a little noddy towards the end.  Practice is definitely not good after a long day...how do people do it after putting children to bed? Do they drink coffee to keep them alert?

I cycled through the senses hearing seeing taste smell feeling and thought. Thoughts were random, no real planning or story thoughts.

Anyhoo work for 3 days then offskis again for 6 days of golf! 😅  phew hope I hold out! More importantly hope the weather holds out!

Hope you all had a nice weekend and that it is ending nice and chillingly! 🐽💜🐽

37/1

Week 36 Day 7

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Evening all! Short practice this morning pre golf. I felt alert but still - like a statue but soft. I listened to small noises from upstairs and ignored an itch and it passed! Remember those?m I had some random thought but on the whole just happy to be there.

After the bell I did some metta.

Today I came fourth (same score as third place but lost on countback) most importantly the handicap stayed the same. More of the same tomorrow I hope! 😜

Have a great weekend! 🐽💜🐽

36/7

Week 36 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Evening all! Today another short practice as a bit out of routine and crazy busy at work at a local commuter hub office.

It's deathly quiet for some reason even the ringing in my ears is quiet. Glad it's the weekend 😅.

A few mins metta at the end to close off a very hectic but productive day.

Tomorrow. .? Golf. What else.

Have a great weekend! 🐽 💜 🐽

36/6

Week 36 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Evening all!  Short and sweet and now time for bed. 10 mins noting 10 mins metta. Today a busy day, thanks for your well wishes, think I'm ok now!?

It's Friday tomorrow hooray! Can't wait...or is that attachment 😅

See you tomorrow!  🐽 💜 🐽

36/5

Week 36 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and receptive

Evening all! Practised this morning but have been busy till now. Also have appeared to have eaten something dodgy so sewers are working overtime in Ashford 😅.

Today it was a strange day, a tube strike looming so it wasn't the usual work journey. As I sat and observed what was around me, I briefly opened my eyes at a station and my eyes were drawn to a pair of enormous tan platforms attached to a woman's legs. Wow how she walked in them I will never know.

Today was a difficult day that got better and except for this minor bug where I must not be far from the loo, life is good.

Stay well! 🐽💜🐽

36/4

Week 36 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations

Evening all! Another late one as have been out most of the day. In today's practice there was busyness in quietness. My ears rang loudly as the world around seems asleep . No aches and pains only a sense of girding up the loins for 3 days work.

Metta at the beginning was focused for 10 mins or so. Continued to include forgiveness metta in there.

Now to bed at a sensible hour so that I can get up for the one day I need to be in the office (tube strike prevents me from travelling into town).

Have a good one! 🐽 💜 🐽

36/3

Week 36 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations

A late one today for 30 mins. But very alert. I decided to let all sensations into the field without categorising. Feelings sounds breathing lights in front of eyes and thoughts - all a jumble. Except not quite a mess as a few sensations came to the fore. Some minor transient pain above the head and then an ache in the legs. Thoughts of all sorts with background music. I have been watching the Voice kids on YouTube wow those children are amazing. It's early hours I suspect that my neighbour is asleep as he gets up at 4am to start work.

Metta for 5 mins at the end.

Okydoky have to hit the sack early rose tomorrow!

Hope you all had a great day! 🐽 💜 🐽

36/2

Week 36 Day 1

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations

Morning all! Today a shorter practice due to time constraints. Metta first - towards myself and my family. Noting was full of thoughts, some I got lost in and others passed through.  My latest aversion is to my neighbour who is a peeping tom and I'm trying to work out how to block the gap in the fence!

Oh yes as promised pic of what's painted so far, more tomorrow.

Have a great Sunday! 🐽💜🐽

36/1

Week 35 Day 7

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Evening all! Today a shorter practice again. I seemed to be tired today and struggled with nodding. Sometimes I am alert at this time but not today.

Metta was of mixed success...but feeling weary didn't help.

Anyhoo..today a productive day, did some mindful painting of shed. More on Monday!

Hope you're having a good day! 🐽 💜 🐽

35/7

Week 35 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and receptive to all sensations

Evening all! Thought I would have some time for more practice in the evening but turned out not to be. Short practice this morning on the patio! Lovely quiet and warm day, heard some speeding mopeds and chirping birds and felt the cool air on the skin. Planning thoughts abounded, I had left myself insufficient time not to worry. Note to self...allow more time. Metta was good at the end with forgiveness reflections too.

Have a great weekend all! 🐽💜🐽

35/6

Week 35 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and receptive to all sensations

Afternoon all! today 45 mins with metta at the start.

Today is a non working day for me and has been productive so far! Soon after getting up I steeled myself to attack the overgrown weeds over the decking. Got most of it out.

Then cleared out the shed including birds nest although I saw a little robin on the fence so I'm wondering if he gave me the dagger eyes as I got rid of his hard work!

Today's meditation was calm and yet vibrant. Lots of energy today. I found myself observing thoughts about  beautifying my little ugly patch. Some good ideas! I also was very sensitive to the cold. It's not cold but it's not hot here either..curious British summer!

Metta was fairly stable, may read more of Salzberg's book toda.

My neighbour us back from work so there is noise from upstairs. Thoughts about my storage living room came to mind so I'm going to attempt to clear the sofa...more tomorrow!

I am very content that I am not at work for another few days and I am determined to make good use of it...tomorrow I will attempt to paint the garden woodwork! 😀

Hope you are having a good day! 🐽 💜 🌞 🐽

35/5

Week 35 Day 4

Medi Object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and to practise metta

Afternoon all! A brief post during lunch. Today again the mind was full of bad work thoughts and I am struggling to focus on the task at hand. The couple in front of me were quite interesting (nice chit chat), as were the two Japanese women (not talking – looked as though they had had an argument) who stood in front of me on the District line. Metta was fragmented although reasonable for about 10 minutes.

My equanimity is being stretched to the limit at the moment as a colleauge is being particularly pernicious to me for some unknown reason. I’ll have to accept it as their sense of humour although my sense of humour is waning quickly. It’s good that I have been reading Salzberg’s book in the Chapter “Liberating the Mind with Sympathetic Joy”, the next chapter is called the “the Gift of Equanimity” and skimming through it I have seen a good quote…”All beings are the owners of their karma. Their happiness and unhappiness depend on their actions, and not on my wishes for them.”

Ommmm…..

35/4

Week 35 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and to practise metta

Morning all! Today I practised for around 40 mins ending in metta.

Today is the day for children on the tube. On the first train a family of  Indians and on the second a young girl in a pram with her mother. Also Cantonese speaking tourists on the 2nd train.

Noting was quite difficult, it seems as I arise I have these anti - work thoughts and they are hard to bat away. I followed the dialogue of the mother with her daughter which included "you're my best friend" and lots of kisses (from the daughter). Such is the innocence of childhood.

Metta was flowing intermittently today but was able to maintain on and off for ten minutes. The trouble is I am always fascinated by well-behaved young children so get easily distracted.

Back to work now. Have a great day!

🐽 💜 🐽

35/3

Week 35 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and practice metta

Afternoon all! Hope you are having a good day. Our team has relocated temporarily to a higher floor and we have a good view of the outside world, including the top of Big Ben (although we don’t see the clock).

Today’s practice was filled with concern about my work, and it’s never as bad as in my mind. I struggled to remain focused what was happening around me at that moment, the thoughts were overwhelming. However, this is my way of coping with uncertainty – I like to think of all kinds of “hypothetical scenarios” as one accountant used to say to me, and flog them in my mind to death. Then reality is always so much easier! Ha!

Metta on the other hand was soothing, as I was able to focus on that feeling for most of the District line journey. It is true that there is no room for bad thoughts if you are focusing on loving kindness, even when reflecting on your “enemies”!

Thankfully, the accountant has agreed that he has enough information to prepare the accounts now, so that’s a weight off my shoulders although I still need to chase my agency for the outstanding expenses they owe me. Panic over! (Panic because the accounts need to be submitted by the end of the week.)

Anyhoo, it’s quiet as the people around me have gone into a meeting. Over the weekend I did manage to do some tidying but I’m hoping I will be in a tidying mood tonight so that I continue to forge my way through to completion!

Hasta luego! 🐽💜🐽

35/2

Week 35 Day 1

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations and practise metta

Afternoon all! Today although I couldn't play golf because of the rain I was able to practise for 45 mins with high alertness and strong feelings of loving kindness in the metta session.

I allowed my awareness to roam and was mainly involved in watching some thoughts about the garden and sprucing it up. Some good ideas came up! If they come to fruition I will post photos. I felt calm and content and very happy even though I'm not whacking that little ball around a field. I recalled the film Catching Impermanence which I have posted a link here on this group and thought about the beautiful designs Amador drew on the beach...so amazing yet transient. I'm also about to watch the Hungarian Grand Prix and pondered about the young driver Jules Bianchi who died this week from his injuries he incurred at Suzuka last year. Also thought about Schumacher who is now an invalid in his own luxurious home after the skiing accident. In a flash their lives were changed irrevocably. I am grateful that I am able to sit in my house with sound mind and body and explore the present moment.

For the first time I was able to focus on the feeling of loving kindness and was able to maintain it for the 15 minutes whilst having intentions of forgiveness and we'll being to myself and others.

Sometimes unexpected pleasures come from changed plans!

Have a great Sunday...go Hamilton! Although he is now 10th after some shenanigans at the start of the race!

🐽💜🐽

35/1

Week 34 Day 7

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and to practise metta.

Evening all! today I practised after dinner for 45 mins. 30 noting 15 metta at the end.

I felt alert tonight but still towards the middle there was some nodding. I think it is also very quiet and the only time house is quiet is if I am sleeping!.

Today thoughts of golf, the garden, my new laptop and my accounts flowed through.

For metta I practised for 15 mins with well wishing intentions for myself and my niece and mother. I continue to practise forgiveness metta.

Tomorrow marks start of the 35th week of daily meditation. It has been a interesting and curious journey of exploration. And it is only just over 3 months to 30 days of Insight...time is flying!

Hope you are all having a good weekend. Golf was good, I came 3rd in the comp and won some money instead of booze (as I am teetotal). Tomorrow the forecast is rainy..booo. oh well plenty to do here if it's wet!

Love to you all! 🐽💜🐽

34/7

Week 34 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Evening all! Today's practice was half noting half metta. Although it is late I am relatively alert. The air is cool although I start to bake under the blanket so that I have to open it a bit.

The house is quiet but there is noise from upstairs.. The start of my neighbour's weekend. He's on his own as the rest if his family is in Italy. The ringing in my ears comes in to focus every now and then as foes my breathing. It is regular and smooth. Thoughts of the house come to yo mind and how tidiness eventually becomes chaos if not kept under control!

We had a deluge of rain this evening so everything is soaked outside in the garden. So much for drying out the wood!

Metta was about forgiveness and something good in everyone. Not easy.

It's the weekend hooray! Hope you all have a good one!

🐽 💜 🌞 🐽

34/6

Week 34 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe all sensations and practise metta

Morning all!  It's Thursday apparently the new weekend. Today is cool and cloudy. The tubes are not as crowded as it's the summer holidays. I started with metta and then practised forgiveness metta also. It seems I still have a lot of junk to get out of my head!

Noting on the way to Hammersmith station. There were two Russian women sitting opposite me. I observed their clothes and remarked how similar their colouring was almost like goths. There were two phone users sitting next to them.

....and this entry was incomplete! doh!

oh well...

Week 34 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and receptive to all sensations

Morning all! back to normalcy one hopes!

Yesterday I did do pre golf practice but ran out of time to report. I practised in the hotel room which was cool and quiet except for the whirring aircon.

Today I'm on the tube again for 2 days at least. Both trains appear to have sorted out their ventilation so it was lovely and cool.

Thoughts of golfing and work drifted in. My connecting stop came sooner than expected so must have drifted off for a few stops. Man with suit and cologne squashed himself next to me. There were other spaces so I felt mildly irritated that his warm self should be interrupting my cool environment.

On the next tube a family of Cantonese speaking tourist boarded and stayed on for two stops. We're in a new tube with lots of space!

Anyhoo metta practice on the tube, I reflected how I keep disappoint resentment in my head...a waste of space. I will endeavour not to keep it in there!

Oh yes before I go the bacon smell on the connecting platform was getting the ghrelin going...not so easy for intermittent fasters! 

Until tomorrow. ..Have a great day! 🐽 💜 🐽

34/4