Thursday, May 28, 2015
Week 26 Day 4
Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and receptive to all sensations
Morning all! Today was a strange one. As I got on the train there was a chap that had slumped in his seat and his legs were across the walkway. I presumed that he had conked out at some point and there was a bottle of water next to him.
I began meditation but my emotional focus was on that slumped body...wondering if he was ok. He'd tucked his arms into the body of his top so he looked like had no arms. Anyhoo I observed my aversion yet curiosity about this person, the noises were secondary and I noted that each person coming into this section of the carriage gingerly stepped over him. One woman sat opposite him and neatly placed her feet at an angle to his! A couple got on and laughed gently asking Is he ok? I peered over at him and realised that his facial expression had changed, so then not unconscious just sleeping and sure enough nearing my stop I heard a voice probably asking where we were and then he curled up and continued to sleep. As I got off the seat next to him was still empty as I watched the train speed away.
The Audible platform advert was I'm front of me again, the woman with text wrapped around her, except that the cross bar of the t was in front of her trousers which indicates a spot of Photoshopping!
I stepped on the next train and found a seat and continued to meditate, listening to the stream of German coming from the next section. The door alarm had a pattern which went off 5 times. I realised that my mind had drifted into planning mode, and wondered at what point I had done that.
Recent practices have a different feel to them - instead of focusing on technique - labelling, making sure that I can observe all my senses (i.e. sometimes cycling round the senses to check in with each), I just check that my alertness by confirming my periphery awareness and then allow the observation to just go where it wants - be it paper rustling, momentary squeek, long announcements, itches....much more relaxing experience. That said, the drift off into thought still happens, so I continue to attempt to observe the start of thought with mixed success.
Also, I've noticed that I fall asleep more readily with no concerns (unless I have mistakenly drank too much caffeine in the afternoon). Possibly this is a good time to start the process of getting up earlier during the weekdays. At the weekends, I plan when to wake up and have been able to fit in my practice before starting the day. Can't quite manage that during the week, before 8 I'm definitely less alert. Not sure when I'll be able to perform the "holy hour" at 5am, but if I can I'll get there!
Ok time to post, have a great day - the sun is shining here (I'm stuck in the office bah). At least I face the windows!
26/4
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