Week 23 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to allow mind to move from sensation to sensation

Good morning all! Today I set another bell at 35 mins so that I could stop then if my alertness was low. In the end I did 40 mins.

Metta today for 5, focused on image of nieve but thoughts pervaded. I tried to send to periphery so my niece's image was mixed with other thoughts!

Noting. As I was in my safe place I felt calm and neutral. In fact almost felt bored with the neutrality as there were no longer as many different external sounds to explore. My focus rested mainly on the very loud high pitched sounds in my ears which are made up of several tones, one which is continuous and several others which appear to oscillate. I then moved to the warmth on my knees, and then a vibrating in my hands.

In the background and occasionally in the firefront I heard clicking noises and whirring.

All these sensations felt neutral even boring. An image of a man's head popped into focus which was somewhat unpleasant. I observed as the image dissipated after a few seconds.

In between focusing on the high priced noises, my breathing and the clicking noises, I was drawn to some thought scenes of my holiday. Some were pleasant but they were mainly neutral.

Throughout the practice I noted that I was slouched so I slowly adjusted my posture and each time my awareness came to the front. I must observe more closely how I start to slouch as I only notice it when I'm in the position!

A few itches of unpleasant vedana were brought to my attention, a few I dealt with but most I let be.

I heard noises from upstairs which I interpreted as voices.

I noted I had high energy through most of the practice despite the boredom factor. Only near the bell for 35 mins did I feel my alertness drift.

I sat for a few more minutes with my eyes open but they tend to drift shut! Almost had to prop them open with virtual toothpicks.

On reflection, the boredom I noted may be an attachment to 'more different sensations'. There was lots of sensations whilst sitting in my hotel room in Cyprus - mainly very varied birdsong. Last week I didn't feel this at all. Perhaps it reflects my disappointment that the holiday is over, even though I tell myself that I'm looking forward to the things to come.

The observations were fast but not as fast as the last two days. I'm having a shade sail put up today...so I will be able to practise outside for a few months. Is it attachment to want to meditate in interesting surroundings? Or perhaps the sensations could be a distraction or become overwhelming.

Happy Thursday and practice!

23/5