Week 25 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations and to observe thoughts coming and going

Morning all! Today's meditation was interrupted by a chain of planning thoughts and other issues. However I persevered and attempted practice on the tube as I usually do.

A man next to me was sniffing at regular intervals. Unfortunately that has very unpleasant vedana for me which goes back many years to my youth. My father used to rebuke me every time I sniffed (as I had a lot of allergies as a child) and now I appear to have developed this aversion - repulsion even to sniffing. I observed this aversion. Physically I felt a bit sick and mentally I was thinking about offering him a tissue, I was also very irritated. The sniffing lessened when he decided to take a nap.

This irritation then continued in the form of a jumble of planning/complaining thoughts. They were basically doing my head in! I tried to stay with them, but the noises in the train completed and so instead I had thought announcement thought sniff thought door alarm. It was chaos!

I got off the tube and did some mindful walking until the next train came. I felt chilled as the bracing wind blew through the platform. I noted the softness of the comfy shoes beneath my feet. I noted the relief of not being near a sniffing man!

I continued my meditation on the next tube which was quieter. Still the thoughts came, but I tried to accept them into the world of noises, the feeling of my hand wrapped around my wrist and whatever breathing I could sense.

It appears that I have sensory overload on the tube. Having been away from the tube for a couple of weeks, practising in quiet surroundings, I find that the tube environment has too many sensations to keep up with! I think that over the recent weeks my choiceless awareness has become keener but really there is too much on the tube to take in all at once. Unless I take it in in one big chunk.

Anyhoo, today I will practising mindful decision making.

Have a great day and practice! 

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