Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Week 11 Day 2

Week 11 Day 2
Medi object choiceless
Intention: explore vedana pleasant unpleasant 

Metta 12 mins, noting 35 mins, 5 mins Metta afterwards

Good evening all! Was up most of last night so could not arise early to meditate. But today's meditation was good and I was alert. So I think I am learning I need to eat before meditating and not wrap up too cozily! Last night I was up listening to Goldstein and watching to golf. Still didn't finish watching the golf but the talk was very interesting. Hope you get a chance to listen. I think the first hour is probably the most interesting and he describes mindfulness meditation almost exactly on the way Nick does. I'm not sure how you could understand much without trying meditation first yourself so I am glad I've been practising for a while (10 weeks! Wow)

Today's metta was betta :-D I was able to focus on the feeling of loving kindness even after the gong went to start noting. Now I understand a bit more about insight meditation I understand more of where we are heading. The noting practice was fascinating too. I felt alert and tried to accept those itches equanimously. I noted the intention of moving so that I was more comfortable. I accepted that I was averse to slouching. I also noted that I had started to overheat again so just opened the blanket a little but after noting the intention to do so. The imperceptible breeze wafted around my hands and legs. Thoughts of people meditating came into my head, of people making effort. Then thoughts about facing trauma. I thought about the broken vase and the light shining through. All this whilst being aware of my breathing and the periphery sounds, as I said before like an onlooker. I then thought about one of the traumas that I wanted to face in meditation. It happened 31 years ago. The day hub 1 told me he was leaving with no warning. I thought I used to recall the detail meticulously before, but as I watched on I had even more insight into that night. The sensation was unpleasant and I felt the tears in my eyes but I was not overwhelmed. What I had never noted before now was that when my husband told me he wanted to leave, he told me with his back to me. He lay facing away from me as I sobbed uncontrollably. He said he'd been planning it for months. But there I was the blissfully unaware, unmindful 21 year old.  The shock of his words stabbed me in the chest. He left a week later and that was that. I watched this scene unfurl towards the end of the noting, I was watching him....well his back that is. When the bell went I decided to stop observing this thought. The vedana was unpleasant. I didn't have that stabbing pain, that choking feeling. What I felt was anger. Not excessively, but it was there, I felt anger and pity. Pity for him. I understood what a coward he had been that night...he'd long since written me off and didn't even have the respect to look me in the eye.

I decided that I needed a little metta after that. When I spoke the loving kindness words, I felt very moved, moved to tears, but not in a desperate way but in a strange way of release. The anger dissipated.  I will examine the events that proceeded after that day, there is a lot to investigate. Yes, I am a soap opera on my own. Between my stories and my parents' I could write a book! 50 shades of 'whateverrr'. (I nicked that from a radio presenter, I thought it was very funny) The meditation allowed me to look on on neutral safe grounds, with no intention to feel sorry for myself. I have a friend who says to me "love and light" when she signs off her emails. She says to me that to protect yourself from harm you can imagine yourself  surrounded in white light. A bit hokey I used to think, but it actually works when you are meditating, well for me anyway. I guess it's the antidote to feeling darkness that comes over you if you are thinking about bad things. And then I opened my eyes and there was a Facebook message from her waiting for me! More loving kindness feelings! 

As I said before, unpleasant vedana will always unpleasant vedana - but it's how you view it that changes things. 

Metta and hugs to you all, hope I haven't traumatised you too much, but I really am grateful that I can post here and that you spend the time reading my verbiage! And this experienced only made me even more motivated to continue on this path. 

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