Week 10 Day 3

Week 10 Day 3.

Medi object choiceless
Intention: observe sensations clearly and see the detail....not sure I did!
Weather: freezing. No boiler.

Good evening all! Today it's 10 mins Metta and 25 noting.

Today was a busy day not helped by broken boiler. I'm usually in my bedroom at home so it's not too bad as I have a small fan heater. 

Today I sat and took minutes in a 2.5 hour meeting at work. After 2 hours I was falling asleep and tried to stay awake using mindfulness, it helped a bit, but in the end I had to step outside and get a drink of water. Nothing worse than nodding off in a meeting! 

On the way home I read a bit of Kornfield, and I loved the 3rd chapter! It was very inspiring. I got home turned on the heater (fan, boiling water on cooker), changed and wrapped up in my Medi blanket and started. The metta is still hard I can't keep the image very long. I may try the more mechanical way that Kornfield suggests. I had a coughing fit in the middle that didn't help. 

In my noting practice I was quite fidgety, but in a good mood. I did feel myself go a few times, this is the evening problem! However I remembered a few phrases from the book and then had a clear image of my father. I thought of his death and I was neutral and accepted it. He is not quite himself these days and sleeps a lot. Do not feel sorry for me, I do not have much feeling towards my @@@@@@ but I have not faced the death of a close relative. He'll leave a gap in our lives despite him being a b}#&#%%d! More about this another time perhaps. I thought about the text about how there are those who try all kinds of things to rid themselves of their aversion. But in the end it is the simple practice of sitting that will reveal to our minds hidden, suppressed pain and anguish. I continued to fidget and looked at the clock a few times. My breathing was hard at times and I heard myself wheeze a bit...it's the cold air. But at other times it almost disappeared. I felt an itch on my eye but just accepted it. Pach I thought it'll pass. I could feel the blanket engulf me and I felt like a hamster hehe...it is a very soft cuddly blanket. I didn't wrap myself in the duvet otherwise I would be experiencing the unpleasant vedana of suffocating and then sweating! I've had a shower today can't spoil that! The heater was the dominant sound, no sounds from upstairs...oh but I'd been listening to Ed Sheerans's Afire Love and that played in the background...that was about his grandfather I believe. 

Anyhoo, time to wash the pile of dishes in the sink...will need a few kettles of water! Only then shall I allow myself to eat cook and eat noodles! 

Lots of interesting links and posts to look through, thanks for sharing, I spend a lot more time here than in the rest of Facebook! 
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