Meditation object choiceless
Intention labelling and noticing pleasant vedena
Today
I was hungry, not sure why as I did some stress stuffing yesterday.
Anyway that slight gnawing in my belly was present in my practice. 20
mins noting on the tube. The journey seemed particularly rocky today.
Tube fart! arrgh just before Northfields made me open my eyes and push
my Buff scarf over my nose. Coincidentally (or not), the women next to
me got out some perfume and squirted it on herself, so pleasant vedena
was restored! It was very noisy so I could hardly hear or feel my
breath, so I had to focus on the tube noises that abounded. The train
was particularly busy as I had to be in for an early meeting. Besides
feeling hungry, I observed a bit of joy joy feeling and decided to open
my eyes to survey the surroundings and take in the balmy and sunny
weather exuding from outside the tube train. Could it be spring coming? I
focused on my hands for a bit, but no buzzing, just solidity, I also
observed my aversion to the woman engulfing her seat next to me and as
she operated her phone. No seat on the second leg so read a bit of
MTCB. May be I was daydreaming, but I've got to the point about
equanimity and how if we are not mindful our practices can be like
psychotherapy, daydreaming or self-absorbed, spiritually-rationalized,
neurotic indulgence in mind noise...wow that's a crazy sentence at the
end...but it is true! You can get so drawn into listening and watching
everything that's going on in your head that you forget the objective of
the practice. What is the objective of the practice...more happiness,
more acceptance of life? Hmmm...I definitely need to think about what I
want out of this practice and not just do it as a kind of intellectual
massage!
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