Week 13 day 7

Week 13 day 7
Meditation object breath, thoughts
Intention note start middle and end, label all sensations, observe thoughts as sensation not looking into content

Today's meditation was split  into 2 parts. The first I focused mainly on the breath and the second half I did some index finger exercise and focusing on thoughts.

I observed the breath and all its parts and noticed the beginning, somewhere in the middle , and the end of each breath. I noted that sometimes the sensation of breath disappeared the end of the out breath.

I also noted interesting swirling of purple and green in front of my eyes and I focused on this for a while.

Without vocalising, it was quite easy to notice the passage of breath rising and falling in my abdominal area. Although I found it easier to follow it up to my neck at the end of the in breath and then down to my abdomen at the end of the out breath.
Time went quickly, and 15 minutes soon passed.  Not sure if I managed to sense any more than 4 or 5 parts...definitely not a chain of sensations. ..

In the second half of the practice I thought that I would experiment with looking at thoughts and their beginning and end. I found myself delving into the content of one thought, but tried to back out when I realised I was dreaming. It was definitely more confusing as I have not used thoughts in this way. I also for a few minutes focused on my index fingers and having re read the passage in the book several times I tried to feel when I actually felt the fingers. I noticed that there was a buzzing and that maybe I caught it just once or twice that there was a sensation of one index finger and not the other. The idea that sensations are impermanent and that the mental image the finger happens after the physical  sensation has gone is quite mind blowing . I may need to eat bancakes to muse on this 😂

This practice was quite energizing, and I  now realise that in order for me to develop, it is useful to understand the theory behind the practice. I have spent nearly 3 months meditating without really understanding what we are aiming for. Feels good but needs a higher purpose. And reading Ingram's book has boosted my knowledge and has nudged my practice on just a bit. However I will have to keep re reading that section about the three characteristics! It's dense!

Well it's nearly 2 p.m. And I have spent the morning reading and practicing. I got further than page 16 thankfully and there are so many interesting things to try, I will have to keep rereading.

I think the aha that I have obtained in the last few days is that the practice must be at the sensate level, and that I have a tendency to try and interpret and analyse everything I do. However it is not useful to be interpreting the practice but just to experience it. I need to evaluate the practice based on the goals that we received at the end of 30 DOM  which really were just about being mindful in the present moment. Nothing else, nothing fancy, just accepting observation of sensations at the time of practice. I'll need to refresh those goals in my head before I become some whacky geekoid who frantically draws on books foaming at the mouth and occasionally waves a golf bat around...oooooarrrrrr me mateys. I have just blurted this out hope you are not in a coma...if you are ..Wake Up and Eat the Roses! hehe I have a card with a picture of a donkey eating roses with that saying in it! And talking of eating...mmmmm 🐽💜🐽

You are all beautiful inside and out...jus ' sayin'