Week 13 Day 5

Week 13 Day 5

Meditation objects - index fingers, breath

Intention: To feel raw sensations and impermanence

Best laid plans of mice and men went very pear shaped. I really wanted to post before I got drowned in work but it just didn't happen. After reading Ingram's book, as I read past page 16 there was an aha moment. Ingram talks about mainly focusing on sensate level I order to progress in this type of practice. His exercises on page 16 and 17 are really interesting and so I decided to give the first one a try.

My meditation object today was my two index fingers. I couldn't put them on my knees but I ended up clasping my hands. I still managed to keep peripheral awareness of breathing and other noises but paid attention to my fingers. This is an exercise in impermanence, as our sensation of a solid finger is made up of infinite sensations all joined up together by our very clever brain. Or rather that is the only way our 'mind' can cope. I tried to see if I could notice the sensation of each finger alternately. I felt some buzzing and I was focusing on one and the the other...but it was tough! Well that kept me occupied for the whole journey and I even tried it on the way home just now. Trying hard to feel those raw sensations really kept me alert. In fact after the meditation I was completely buzzing and seemed to be super observant. I did have thoughts but labelled them as such and sometimes they would interfere but I just labelled them and went back to the fingers. I also tried feeling sensations of the breath but that seemed much harder. He also suggested observing the front and the back of your head but it seems weird but I don't really feel them! 

After reading the text about impermanence, I understood that our mind labels a sensation after it's actually gone to form what we call consciousness... A string of sensations from an solid group of sensations. Mind blowing.,Ingram's book is extremely dense so it's a very slow read but really worthwhile. It'll late but I'll read a litre more tonight. 

The Flamenco show was absolutely fabulous. I had had a crazy day, dealing with boss's work, handing over as yg left, trying to catch up with my mother. Oh and sorting out card and gift for yg and when he opened it he thanked my colleague instead of me, argh. Then as he left he dumped a pile of I collated presentations on my lap. True to the last. I had to kick him out as I didn't have the time to waste whilst he chatted with my colleague. Enough...

Tomorrow will be Bisy Backson again but I think I will be saved from going into the office (to deal with the pile of papers), I will call in a favour. 

I will investigate this sensation level again tomorrow.