Week 28 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Morning all! Today I meditated for 30 mins, 5 mins metta at the end. Concentration was low today so decided to do a shorter session.

Noting began with the usual cycle round the sensations. There are roadworks happening outside my house so I could hear the rumble of the trucks and at one point focused on the reversing beep of something. I felt tired and distracted but steeled myself to focus. No aches and pains to mention but some itches which I dealt with.

Some junk thoughts came through my head and I watched them as though they were on a screen. They start with an image and either move to the background if another sensation takes presidence or just disappears.

Concentration was not easy today, I wasn't tired just bleh.

Metta after 25 mins was tough and I kept having to steer myself back to the meditation object.

It's Friday and the road outside my house has fresh tarmac on it...mmm I love the smell of fresh tarmac! 😅

Have a great weekend! 🐽 💜 🐽

28/6
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Week 28 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Afternoon all! Today 30 mins noting and 10 mins mindful watching.

It's a sunny day and my last day in the office this week. My friend came round to fit another two eyelets on the wall and I was wondering if I could have done it myself? Maybe next time!

I started my practice with a cycle of breath, hearing, looking and feeling. Two people speaking Eastern European language boarded at the next stop so there was a hum of chatting in the background for this part of the journey. The sun was bright and shone on my eyelids. A man sat next to me overflowing in the seat. I felt awkward and noted my irritation. Another chap sat next to me on his mobile phone. Another irritation.

The train was a bit emptier as it was later. I was tired today and felt a bit of nodding. This will be the way for this time of  my 'woman's condition'....

I decided to walk to the back of the train so that I could go to Starbucks and realised it is actually closer to the office by a smidgeon 😅

For the last portion of the journey, I was engaged in mindful watching of a mother and her two children, one in a buggy and one walking.  The frazzled mother was busy attempting to keep the two happy and they were each eating a breadstick. Seems such a nightmare having to travel with two children, buggy and all the paraphernalia!

The sun's out, I must post this now...hasta luego! 🐽💜🐽🌞

28/5

Week 28 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Morning all! Today back to tube practice for 40 mins. At the end 5 mins metta.

Today felt quite alert but head full of thoughts. I sat eyes closed and gradually the thoughts left my head one by one. I cycled through the senses. When it came to smell a faint curry smell wafted towards me which was interrupted by someone coming to sit down next to me. I felt some fidgeting and opened my eyes to see a woman take a foam earplug out of a tin...a minute later it was in her ear. The shuffling previously must have been for the other ear plug. Unusual.

I heard the announcements which were clipped at the start of the message and the door alarms would sound before the announcement finished.  Realise now that the sound of pressured air is the mechanism for opening and closing the doors.

The connecting train arrived on the platform as soon as I alighted the first one. Today, Chinese tourists on board. The woman opposite me had a plethora of notebooks and was leafing through each of them scribbling notes. I noticed her huge handbag had a laptop in it as well.

I practised some metta towards the end, must read the books, I struggle with this form of meditation. Sometimes I think I've got it and at other times I'm not so sure.

Mood neutral today, possible grumpy. Anyway happy Hump Day! Nearly the weekend.

28/4

Week 28 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to remain alert

Good evening all! Today 30 mins of practice, 10 mins metta after 15 mins and then at the end.

Had a day of  golfing with mixed feelings today, so pretty tired. Was so excited At the start but did not live up to expectations so that is a equanimous lesson learned - you can only experience true contentment when you stay in the present. 

Lots of nodding happened today, I struggled with tiredness but decided to continue. I renewed my intention to stay alert many times. My mood was not very upbeat so thoughts of situations with unpleasant vedana passed through my mind. 

I had thoughts of not continuing after 15 mins but when the bell went I decided to add a bit of metta practice for 5 minutes.  I had some strong focused feelings but had to revisit my meditation object frequently. After a few minutes of metta, I decided to do an extra 10 minutes of noting. I felt the overwhelming down mood press on me, and then I noticed my hands on my knees and my breathing in the periphery. The bell went at 25 mins so I did another 5 minutes of metta which was just as tough as the first lot. 

Tiredness does not promote alertness, so walking meditation may be the only option if low energy means that I'm basically trying to nap when I sit down! 

Anyhoo after good night's sleep and hopefully with better mood, I can attack the tube meditation with vigour tomorrow morning! Haaaaaaiiiiiiyah! 😆

Happy practising everyone! 🐷😴🐷

28/3

Week 28 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to remain alert and receptive

Afternoon all! Today I meditated for around 45 mins on two tubes and a platform. Today’s practice was tinged with Monday morning tiredness. I attempted to push myself into alertness by cycling round the senses – listening, seeing, smelling, feeling. Today’s lowlights were sharp elbows of a very small woman and the smell of cigarettes. I believe that each time I was squidged by her elbow she was adjusting her hair (which was lovely…).

The sun shone and it was so bright, that as we stopped at a station, it shone on my back and I thought the heating had come on!

Hearing: I heard the usual tube noises, but I noticed the sound of a burst of compressed air (pneumatic brakes?) before the doors closed each time.

Smelling: Cigarette smell, no perfume alas

Seeing: Bright light and as a consequence floaters in my eyes

Feeling: I had my wrists crossed as I was trying to make myself as narrow as possible to about pokeages. Felt a bit awkward.

Thoughts about the past and future occurred. I need to plan this next weekend carefully and be ready before it arrives.

The platform yielded a mild breeze today with no bacon smell. The poster ad reminded me of when I studied To Kill A Mockingbird as a youth - I have an aversion to what I studied in English Literature, the teacher made the subject dry and crusty...only highlight was one day he was reading to the class from Far From The Madding Crowd, Bathsheba was talking about Francis Troy.." what a gay man he is!" There were sounds of stifled laughter as 37 years ago the word  "gay" was just about coming into vernacular. We were also all waiting for him to read it because the teacher was very good at female voices being rather effeminate himself...and loved reading aloud. I can even remember the exact location of the words on that page!

Next train came and this time Italians and then Spanish tourists were on board. I decided to try metta for a few minutes with limited success.

Roll on the evening.

Have a fab day and practice! 🐽 💜 🐽

28/2

Week 28 Day 1

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Evening all!  This morning all good intentions went out the window so I ate breakfast  (which is unusual anyway) and left for the golf course.  We had a 40th anniversary round with 80 people in the field. We came 2nd last haha...a couple of my team were loving the trees.. not good for the score! But missed many opportunities to close out.

Today's meditation was 45 mins 5 mins  metta at the end.

I was tired and after only 10 mins was nodding off, so I decided to open my eyes. When that didn't work I stood  up and when that didn't work I started walking. Slowly. As slowly as possible.

Interestingly because I was focusing in taking the smallest slowest steps, I was able to focus in on the physical movement of walking and be aware of the periphery as well. As I walked from the bedroom to the hallway to the kitchen, different sensations came into the field. Firstly I had taken my slippers off to walk barefoot and each time I left the bedroom I had to walk over the slippers. This was a test of not meddling with the environment. Furthermore when I entered the narrow kitchen, my coat brushed against my arm with a swishing sound and this was highly irritating - another opportunity to accept things as they are. I had left some cauliflower cheese out to cook and I thought how easy it would be for me to pop that in the oven etc...but I resisted - putting food in the oven is not part of walking meditation! As I turned around to go back I could see various items on the  counters all beckoning me to deal with them! A fascinating yearning to sort things out!

The laminate flooring creaks more at certain spots mainly in the hallway.  Each circuit took around 4 mins which is verrry slow. It was interesting to watch every footfall, listen to every breath and to hear the clock get louder and louder as I  approached it. Usually I do not like ticking clocks but you can judge for yourself...I call it the Barcelona fried egg in honour of where I bought it.

Throughout the practice little thought came through except to maintain balance and put one foot in front of the other. The floor was cool and smooth and I planted my heel before the rest of the foot.

I could hear my neighbours talking upstairs, the heating going off and on, the ticking clock, the creeeeeeak creeaaak of the floors. Something not to do in a power cut in the dark might be the makings of a horror story!

The time went by super fast and I was pretty alert.

Fascinating to walk so mindfully across a piece of floor I'm backwards and forwards on all the time.

Sat down for metta practice, managed on and off to feel the feeling but the moment the energy of the walking was gone I started to drift.

Ok now.. not quite the end of the weekend so it's Happy Sunday and Happy end of the evening to you! Cauliflower going back in the fridge, fast food is in order! 🐽💜🐽

28/1

Week 27 Day 7

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and receptive

Afternoon all! Posting late..Today I practised for just under 40 mins as I need to dash off to the club and wanted to write up first.

Noting this morning was filled with thoughts of a friend who is celebrating her 50th. My Facebook time line will be flooded with posts about it etc. I recalled how different my 50th was. Although I do have a few friends as I am single there is little fuss on birthdays in recent times. I noted my attachment and longing for this abundance of excitement that used to come when I was a child. The one stalwart who remembers is my darling mother who has always is watching over me.

Anyway enough self pity! Noting was in my safe place, as I cycled through the senses I noticed that the ringing in my ears was subdued. It could be that I am a bit bunged up due to allergies today. I listened out for the usual frequencies but they were not there.

Swirls appeared in front of my eyes in green and purple.

My neighbours were providing a running commentary upstairs. There was some birdsong in the distance. No backpain today - a micro joy.

Ok update on big rock activity. The 3 big rocks yesterday were 1 Open the shed door 2 mow the lawn 3 put clothes back in drawers. I managed to accomplish all three plus a partial clear out of the fridge! Yeeehaaa! The birds had gone but their deposits had not.

Metta practice was strong for the few minutes I did it. Possibly finally can recall the metta feeling repeatedly.

Have a very Happy Non Birthday today, hope it's filled with mega and micro joys! 🐽💜🐽

27 / 7

Week 27 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to be receptive to all sensations

Afternoon all! Today 45 mins practice. First time ever felt slight reluctance to practice, did a bit of procrastinating but after 10 mins got on with it.

I am very tired this morning and to be honest vexed about going into the shed to get the lawn mower! I'm not good with wildlife so do not know what to expect when I open the door! As a recap I discovered that a robin had made its nest in my shed two weeks ago, so hopefully they will have moved out by now as fledgings were staring at me through the gap in the shed door at that time!

I acknowledged my weariness and noted my aversion to this future activity at the start. In fact my focus moved onto my weariness and I mused about why I was so tired and lethargic.  I think that more exercise this week and the stress of wondering whether to extend this work contract is taking its toll. I am in essence an over analyser but in my mind staying makes sense but in feeling I think it is going to be bad. Not easy when one has this dichotomy of heart and mind. As a consequence a lot of thoughts came into my mind. I let them drift through and observed the vedana each presented. Not always pleasant and they were mainly about the state of my house. It has become somewhat of a junk yard since I have been working long hours and trying to fit in meditation with golf both of which are not five minute jobs.

Thoughts always present themselves as happening now and then I mentally elaborate that they are past or future thoughts. Also current thoughts of verbalising occurred throughout this practice as though I needed to persuade myself to keep going.

For some reason it was visitor and phone call season, two cold calls and my neighbour. I tried to remain mindful during the dialogues and returned to practice immediately except when the neighbour called in there was only 15 seconds to go on the timer.

The bell went for metta and I felt I could focus on the feelings of metta for a few minutes. This is good as often the metta is fractured. Today my efforts of focus on the object seemed to yield a strong sensation for the alloted time. As the bell went for 30 mins I decided to continue with a final 15 minutes of noting. I felt happier after the metta and renewed my intentions to be on the present. And to observe some micro-joys maybe? I cycled through the senses and tried to move from one sensation to the next without drifting. It moved smoothly for about 5 minutes then I struggled with thoughts about time. In the end I peeked and there was only 1 min 40 seconds left...Then of course my neighbour pressed the doorbell with 15 seconds to go. I sat for a few seconds debating whether to ignore her, but thought I should do the neighbourly thing and answered the door. I listened to her as neutrally as I could as she was asking me about the house insurance  (blah blah blah) which only reminded me that I needed to sort the lease out. My neighbours rely on me to do this legal stuff as they don't really have a clue. More stress.

In the words of a work process: Risk: There is a risk that build up of stress will result in overload of thoughts and demotivation to do anthing. Mitigation: a) Daily meditation b) Daily Big Rock action plan required to rein in house chaos and other key goals. c) write down pros and cons of staying in job d) open shed door..😨.

Will update tomorrow!

Glad to share with you and thanks for reading! 🐽💜🐽

27/6

Week 27 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert

Good morning all!  Today I practised for around 30 mins. The weather is fine and the pollen is out in force, so I feel a bit bunged up and sleepy.

I started my tube medi almost as soon as I got on the train. It took me a couple of stops to become focused after a few sneezes. As ever planning thoughts were in my head. As they cleared I cycled through the senses quickly and eventually dropped into zone 2 (using London Underground terminology) - which I define as peripheral awareness good, alertness a bit fuzzy. Two women got on and sat opposite me and I thought they would chat, but instead one went on her phone and the other read the newspaper. As my neighbour to my right fidgeted a waft of pleasant perfume came my way. I heard a strange noise and realise that it was my neighbour clearing his throat, he answered a call and then I confirmed that the noise came from him!

About half way through I felt the phone vibrate in my bag indicating a call, I looked at it, and it was a supplier who works with us. I resisted the temptation to answer as I was actually not yet in the office. I figured - not a lot that I can do if I'm not there, if I get involved, I'll end up having to interrupt my practice and then be grumpy. I actually was already irritated that she called me so even though I settled back down to meditate, there was a dark mood over me. My boss had arranged a meeting without asking me to babysit it (since he is not in the office today), so as they say..."I know nothing..." except I am Lizipedia...and I always know what's happening. Far too reliable, must fix that. Any tips?

As we pulled into Hammersmith, I saw my connecting train coming in on the next platform, and I managed to hop on and grab a seat. As I looked at my phone (no text message or voicemail left from supplier), I then saw the call id of my boss calling me. Nope, not answering! Feeling particularly non-collaborative today. Usually I would be rushing to answer these calls, but as I wasn't at work yet and I was still in meditation mode, I just watched the call disappear...and then he called again! Still after the calls, no message or voicemail left, so I would have received the steaming pile of !*£&!" on my lap and would not be able to resolve anything as I went out of service going underground. I mindfully mused apon my actions, pondering whether I really should extend this contract or not (not necessarily working for this current boss - who is lovely by the way) because at the moment, I simply am not bothered. My boss was probably sitting in his outdoor garden office in his house in Greece, so as I am now sitting in an enclosed office looking of the window in polluted London - do not feel bad for him!

I returned to practice. The little black cloud was still over my head, and today, no tourists were on the train for me to observe. The train seemed empty today - it's a Thursday - start of the weekend for some maybe? And the journey was a bit of a blur for a bit, until i decided to start writing this post up - still with black cloud overhead.

I feel I have more energy as I have done two exercise classes this week (wahay!). The downside is that my knee hurts. Can I get a replacement leg please from The Island?

Ah this is but a rambling tome. I may go home and nurse my knee and meditate again in a more conducive mood and environment. However, I must accept that practice is as it is, and even though I feel it's not "productive" enough, it shows that life goes on around me, even if I've put the sign up "Please do not disturb!".

Have a great day and practice! 🐽 💜 🐽

27/5

Week 27 Day 4

Medi object - choiceless awareness

Intention - to remain alert

Morning all! Around 30 minutes. Today I started my tube meditation a few stops later as I was distracting trying to plan my evening, so I continued it until my assigned stop.

Although intention was strong, the thoughts of planning were still in my head at the start and it took me a while to wade through the web of them. After that I noticed that the train was unusually quiet no people on phones and onerous smells. Was I dreaming?

As I got off to catch my connecting train - the frosty breeze across the platform greeted me and the faint smell of cooking bacon was mingled in. I sat on the bench with my eyes closed and tried to be equanimous with the icing process that was going on on my right side.

The train came quickly and was fairly empty and I found one of those single seats next to the door, I had crossed my arms due to the cold and continued to cross my arms, I noted that to the left of me, the metal panel was very cold so I made sure I didn't lean on it. As I crossed my arms, I absent-mindedly prodded my right bicep and experienced an exquisite pain - the type that has both pleasant and unpleasant vedana. I stopped prodding and refocused.

Today there was a French family sitting near by. Just two couples this time, no children. They spoke quietly though, unlike the majority of tourists who think that when they are not in their own country they are in an empty warehouse and the locals around them are mannikins!

I was drawn to focus on the sensations from my crossed arms because I don't usually do that. Besides the prodding of the bicep, I could feel my arms pressing onto my belly as I breathed. It seemed vaguely comforting as though I was in a coccoon. I heard some voices and opened my eyes and was confronted with an absolutely packed train with two women standing in front of me.  How did that happen - I must have drifted off.

So today, not as alert as I would have liked, I think that I need to start meditating as soon as I start my journey and try not to be distracted by planning thoughts. Tomorrow I try again!

Have a great day and practice!

27/4

Week 27 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe detail and vedana of each sensation

Morning all! Today the weather is a bit grey and I woke up to the sad news of a well known politician's untimely early death. This reminded me that I should strike a balance of learning from the past, living in the present and planning for the future.

Today's noting session was just over 30 mins. I was immediatelhy directed to an odour of Indian spices, this was initially unpleasant and I felt uncomfortable. However the carriage was breezy so I was only drawn to it a few times particularly when the train was stationary. It was also intermingled with someone else's perfume at one point, this was definitely not an easy combo. One has to breathe so smells do not dissipate too quickly!

Again there were no station announcements until approaching Acton Town, this was not reassuring - it meant that if one has one's eyes closed one doesn't get prompted to get off at the right station! The door alarms went off in their usual pattern.

I was weary from last night, as I attempted a return to my routine of exercise classes during the week. These are pretty late so set me back two hours in the evening. The perils of a sedentary job...I can choose to head home early and become a bulbous Jabba the Hutt or exercise my ancient bones to give me a boost in fitness.

Thoughts pervaded the practice mid session, at one point I asked myself was I really meditating or just thinking? I slapped myself across the face with wet fish (figuratively) and renewed intentions.

I got off the train at Hammersmith and a small breeze was blowing, but I was hit by a very famliar morning delicious smell! The one and only savoury, salty frying smell of...cooking bacon! Mmmmmm! I've smelt this a few times before at this point on the platform, there must be a cafe above. The smell makes my mouth water and brings memories of bacon sandwiches - which to be honest are always nicer in dreams than in reality.

This tube line appears to produce a lot of tourists, and today there was a family of North Americans draped around the carriage. A girl was sitting on her father's lap reading...a book! Do those exist in young people's lives now?

30DOM is now in its final throes, it seems a long time ago that I started on 7DMK. if I look back into the distance when I first started it seemed so simple then! Ha! As they say, more knowledge leads to more questions!

Thanks for the memories and thanks for all your support, I'd like to say a particular big thank you to Nick whose untiring enthusiasm and keen advice has kept us going all this time! See you in 365 DOM or in the next course!

🐽 💜 🐽

27/3

Week 27 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to notice micro-joys

Morning all!

Today my intention is to notice micro joys. The weather today is sunny with clear blue skies! Micro joy! The guy next to me is spoiling my micro joy by talking loudly on his phone. I feel angst and irritation because my focus is drawn towards his voice. The sunlight dances on my eyelids no swirling today. The guy gets cut off due to poor service. Micro joy and relief! The focus now is on the familiar whining noise of the engine, the occasional thud across joined tracks (I presume), this is the noise of the underground. I listened to the announcements but they disappeared from my periphery for a few stops...ooops la-la land. Mondays isn't so good for alertness. Whilst I scrabbled back to reality, I checked in with the sense cycle - breathing, hearing, seeing, smelling, feeling. Breathing was short and sharp, hearing was a cacophony of sounds - voices, train noises, strange knocking sounds, smelling - no perfume smell except when I got on - my nose is blocked so potential subtle smell is lost, feeling - my right hand grips my wrist around my handbag, I feel softness of the seat against the back of my legs and my back, and my feet are flat on the floor. Phew - micro joy that periphery is back!

Continuting my exploration on the train platform between trains, the advert for the audio book is inviting me to read it - my mind goes to thoughts of the classics I should read. The platform is cool but the breeze isn't blowing today - micro joy! I step onto the train and get a seat straight away - microjoy, and continue to practice. Microjoy is spoilt by guy speaking loudly. When I realise he's actually speaking to someone next to him I feel less irritated. Half English, half an Indian continental language. Even that stops after a while, although a further mega unjoy when he decides to blow his nose with great vigour. Eew. I glance at him and he is still applying tissue. Less of a unjoy - at least he is using a tissue and not sniffing! I hear a loud voice - it is a German boy shouting across to his mother. At first I wasn't sure if it was German, but a few minutes later I caught some familiar words. The mother was standing opposite me and was wearing a blue waterproof which was really short and didn't go fit over her t-shirt. I wondered if that was a fashion statement as it appeared to fit her well (a bit like the inside out cardigan that isn't inside out). Micro joy humour.

I decided to try metta because the carriage was quiet. I managed to focus on the awww factor on and off, I had to stop as the guy next to me had resumed his nose job which completely wiped out any loving kindness from my mind. Hopefully I did not cast too disparaging a look at him. 

Not in the formal practice, but micro joys continued as I got off the train, a woman in front of me was wearing zebra leggings - micro joy humour! A man in the queue in front of me in the breakfast shop was wearing his tweed flat cap backwards thinking he was cool - micro joy giggle! The server at the counter greeted me cheerfully and one of the other ones recognised me..awww micro joy - I love that shop. Came out into the sunshine and the art nouveau signs and the buildings against the sun - mega joy. I approached the office (a little unjoy), as I walked to my desk a micro joy for an air-conditioned office which is usually never too hot or cold. Now I am about to make a cup of roobois tea - micro joy!

Have a great day full of micro joys! 🌻💜🌻

27/2

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Week 27 Day 1

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and challenged for long practice.

Afternoon all!  Today I took up the challenge to do a longer practice. If I do this 30 DOM course again I might have to set aside a morning!  Today I made it to the 90 minute mark just. I thought I had set my timer to chime every 15 mins but only set it to chime at 15 mark so that was another distraction.

I did see some thoughts arise and they were mainly triggered by images.  They were of the glass festival yesterday. I wasn't in the thoughts but they were pretty junky thoughts anyway.

The main sensation after 30 mins was that of mild back pain I did have to stretch a bit during the session. 

In the middle of the practice there was a portion with a different feel,  focused but relaxed.

I saw some different patterns in front if my eyes a blue star shape in the middle and the green swirls over laid it. I did return to seeing sensations frequently.

Neighbours were walking about and arguing again,  birdsong in vigour for 5 mins or so, some car noises and the washing machine going. It's on its last legs so the complete alarm is more like a little beep instead of the proper long alarm and that remained for the last 15 mins.

The only nod occurred after 60 mins but no more nods besides that.   Mins 30 to 60 were challenging I had to extricate myself from thought a few times.

Towards the end the thoughts I observed were planning thoughts. 

For the last 30 mins I practiced with my eyes open and a few times they closed but I caught them as they were closing and renewed alertness intention.  The sensations feel different with the eyes open, I could see my arms and they looked like blocks (blurry with my glasses off).

Anyhoo a bit rambling this post is,  quite difficult to remember which order the sensations came in. Well...I survived! And not bored either.

Metta for the last 5 minutes was so so. I did have to keep dragging myself back to the meditation focus.

Ok must post as off to the cinema. 6 months ago I could just about practice for 15 mins...so have I become a block of concrete or have I improved? 😆

Hasta Luego!

🐽💜🐽

27/1

Week 26 Day 7

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and observe the arising and passing of each sensation

Evening all! A late post and a practice in two bits 15 mins in the morning and 30 mins just now.

This morning, metta was strong for a few minutes.  Thought trails entered immediately upon noting..about robins and planning. When my awareness moved to the ringing in my ears I had one rogue sound wave in my right ear which was higher and seemed louder.

Other focus was the warmth of the blamnket and some machiney whirring noises. I felt the coolness of the floor on the feet.

This evening the first sensation I felt was palpatations and the pulse went through my chest and up to the sides of my head. It was the dominant sensation for first 5 mins or so. A thought arose but it was a junk one, I observed the sharp image of the stranger's face and then it disappeared.

The pulsing was of unpleasant vedana as though it was in the way. By the end of the practice the palpatations had gone (but when did they go? ). I started to have thoughts about the time. Possibly because I was tired and drifted into thought once. I tried to observe a few micro joys...I had no backpain and felt content about today's activities. 😀.

I started to feel hot so removed blanket. I dealt with a few itches.

Then the radiator became very active so I listened to the clicking noises towards the end. My neighbours put down the sofa bed as usual at the time of the night. 

I felt very thirsty and thought about a drink. I felt the warmth on my knees and tingling in my fingers.

I practiced metta at the end, did have to keep refocusing but I keep trying!

Have a good night! A few photos from the Glass Festival today. 🐽💜🐽

26/7

Week 26 Day 6

MMedi object choiceless awareness Intention to monitor alertness Afternoon All! Today around 30 mins practice, attempted 5 mins metta and 25 mins noting on the tube. As I started I heard loud earphone leakage from a woman opposite. I couldn't believe how loud it was, I don't think she put the earphones correctly into her ears. She seemed oblivious so I tried to continue, however she kept playing the same track over and over. I found it hard to concentrate on my meditation object during metta, maybe I need a little more of a stable space to practice it? For noting, of course the earphone leakage was dominant until about 10 mins in when she stopped listening to it. Then my neighbour's perfume featured, it could have been the same person as yesterday but I wasn't sure. I then launched into a massive thought trail where I knew I was thinking but my mind wanted to stay there. This demonstrates that we really have little control over where the mind goes. I felt aversion to these thoughts yet was strongly drawn to them. The interesting thing was that although these were thoughts about a future event, it played as though the situation was happening at that instant. I watched myself addressing some issues then thinking about whether I was too sensitive. I was noting that I was thinking so not lost in thought, but not happy to move away until resolution. The thoughts were interrupted as I needed to change trains. The bracing wind soon cleared my mind of those thoughts replacing those sensations with a shivering body. Everyone else always looks as though it's not cold - is it just me? When I boarded the next train, I found a seat and continued my practice. The thoughts had well and truly gone by then so I was focusing on the sounds of the trains whilst keeping half an eye on a blind man opposite me (with white stick). I then pondered about how I could go about life with my eyes closed all the time, and that it was hard enough being observant for formal practice let alone doing it all the time! It's the weekend! Will need to fit in meditation either very early or last thing, would prefer the former but will see how it goes! Have a great weekend! 🐽💜🐽 26/5

Week 26 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness Intention to check in to monitor the quality of attention Morning all! Today I am travelling further than usual to Liverpool Street. The tube is cool but crowded. Noting today was 30 mins. I had the intention of monitoring the quality of my attention throughout the practice. At the start my focus there was on a guy sitting next to me. Nope not me fancying him, but him flirting on the phone with a woman. Every so often I could hear her muffled voice at the other end like the voice of the teacher in Charlie Brown. The reason why I knew he was flirting was because they were talking about nothingness....plans, journey, reminiscences and the guy was being sooo encouraging 😁. Definitely wooing. Not girlfriend yet. Anyhoo the conversation was interrupted by several cut offs if service so I was able to focus on other things...phew I was getting a bit irritated by the constant chatter. Pleasant and unpleasant the sane time. There were no station announcements until just past Acton Town unusually. The door alarms went through a pattern of 4 beats 6 times. I felt the warmth in my hands and sometimes swirls in front of my eyes. At one point early on I cycled through the senses checking out what was out there. For a while there was some movement on my other side. Woman putting on make up,  such a thin person with wide sharp elbows. Then she flicked her hair a few times which touched my shoulders. ..just as well she didn't have Farrah Fawcett locks they would have been all over me . I checked in and monitored my attention every few seconds.  Took a bit of getting used to. But actually very useful. I noticed I was in a thought already at one point.  Then a very clear image of a yoghurt pot appeared! Very weird since I don't eat yoghurt! The monitoring actually made the practice a lot more interesting and time passed quickly. I used to check my alertness by seeing whether I could sense all periphery sensations so perhaps I need to combine this way of checking (focusing on the most recent medi object and seeing how much detail I have retained). Half way through a planning meeting...thankfully. Not being in the present...better get back to it. 🐽💜🐽 26/5

Week 26 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness Intention to remain alert and receptive to all sensations Morning all! Today was a strange one. As I got on the train there was a chap that had slumped in his seat and his legs were across the walkway. I presumed that he had conked out at some point and there was a bottle of water next to him. I began meditation but my emotional focus was on that slumped body...wondering if he was ok. He'd tucked his arms into the body of his top so he looked like had no arms. Anyhoo I observed my aversion yet curiosity about this person, the noises were secondary and I noted that each person coming into this section of the carriage gingerly stepped over him. One woman sat opposite him and neatly placed her feet at an angle to his! A couple got on and laughed gently asking Is he ok? I peered over at him and realised that his facial expression had changed, so then not unconscious just sleeping and sure enough nearing my stop I heard a voice probably asking where we were and then he curled up and continued to sleep. As I got off the seat next to him was still empty as I watched the train speed away. The Audible platform advert was I'm front of me again, the woman with text wrapped around her, except that the cross bar of the t was in front of her trousers which indicates a spot of Photoshopping! I stepped on the next train and found a seat and continued to meditate, listening to the stream of German coming from the next section. The door alarm had a pattern which went off 5 times. I realised that my mind had drifted into planning mode, and wondered at what point I had done that. Recent practices have a different feel to them  - instead of focusing on technique - labelling, making sure that I can observe all my senses (i.e. sometimes cycling round the senses to check in with each), I just check that my alertness by confirming my periphery awareness and then allow the observation to just go where it wants - be it paper rustling, momentary squeek, long announcements, itches....much more relaxing experience. That said, the drift off into thought still happens, so I continue to attempt to observe the start of thought with mixed success. Also, I've noticed that I fall asleep more readily with no concerns (unless I have mistakenly drank too much caffeine in the afternoon). Possibly this is a good time to start the process of getting up earlier during the weekdays. At the weekends, I plan when to wake up and have been able to fit in my practice before starting the day. Can't quite manage that during the week, before 8 I'm definitely less alert.  Not sure when I'll be able to perform the "holy hour" at 5am, but if I can I'll get there! Ok time to post, have a great day - the sun is shining here (I'm stuck in the office bah). At least I face the windows! 26/4

Week 26 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to remain alert and experience raw sensations

Morning all!  Today a short practice on the tube. Just under 30 mins. Noting only, metta later.

Facebook appears to have caught up with itself, fingers crossed!

Noting. Last night very tired this morning no different. After a few breaths to settle, main meditation focus was the smell of strong perfume on the person next to me. It had several notes and I tried to detect each as it wafted across me. Am very rubbish at detecting flower scents but there were several. Sometimes it's unfortunate that perfumes remind me of toilet freshener but not this one!  Not unpleasant but very dominant. The announcements today were clipped at the beginning of each sentence. The door alarm also chimed in at each station. 2 beeps 6 times before the door closes.

I realised I had drifted into thought solution mode nearing my stop. As I got off the train the usual icy beeze caught my breath as I saw a connecting train slide off the platform. However the next train came soon. Very unpleasant vedana with the breeze whipping round my body...Hard not to focus on anything else but that.

I got on the next train and sat opposite a family of four.  Well one presumes so! I mused if all meditation practice requires that one keeps peripheral awareness or if there are some that allow you to drift into a trance like state. The word meditation appears to be used for a whole raft of activities from chilling out after yoga to keeping your temper!

Anyhoo its lunchtime now as I finish off this post. Have a fab day! 🐽💜🐽

26/3

Week 26 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to observe sensations without vocalising 

Evening all! I'm still in a world of my own on Facebook. 😖 When I visit posts that I know others have viewed only I seem to have viewed it. Also, I can add comments, but when you send me comments even though you tag me I can't see them and they don't come into my mail either. Have reported it, but not sure what else to do. It only seems to be with this group. I think I start to see more once Nick is active but it's a bit random (something to do with you being an admin?)...also 2 copies of my posts appear and instead of it saying 'you and 45 others liked this' I appear on the list of people who liked. I have uninstalled and installed...but not on the iPad, will try that!

Today I practiced for 45 mins, 5 mins metta at the end. I decided to observe the sensations without trying to describe them for the post, I just wanted to observe. Was a lot more relaxing. Usually I vocalise as well as label. 

The dominant sensations today were the other noises! The ringing my ears, the warmth of my hands and the sound and feeling of the breathing all were in the periphery today. Main focus was sounds around the house, a click there and creak here, upstairs my neighbours were having a conversation, birdsong and the washing machine noises.

I had thoughts about a robin that had flown out of my shed this morning. After practice I walked up to the shed quietly and peered in...two pairs of eyes stared back! Fledglings! I don't know how old they were but they were standing on my glass table. Cute but made me nervous. So in practice the vedana for this thought was pleasant and unpleasant. A nervous expectation. The only problem is that all my gardening tools are in there...oh well just can't mow the lawn then in the interests of wildlife!

Just had a two hour doze, was so exhausted. So back to this morning's practice. No boredom came, just chilled observation, 45 mins finished in a flash...I didn't have thoughts about the timer and did not lose alertness. I moved from object to object without pause and I think I noticed a few thoughts arising (rather than realising once I was in a thought) due to me thinking about certain words...eg robin elicited the trail about the best.

Anyhoo, hope my FB world returns to normalcy soon! Have a good evening!

🐽💜🐽

26/2

Week 26 Day 1

Medi object choice less
Intention to observe more detail and to
observe boredom
Morning all! As of yesterday I have had
FB challenges, so I cannot see any posts
since yesterday. I also cannot like or
comment on any posts. I'm in a world
of my own!
Today's practice was 50 mins, 45 noting
5 Metta at the end. As yesterday I
noted boredom, I tried to challenge myself
to get off the plateau. For the first 30 mins
I attempted to observe the start and finish
of any sensation in focus. Peripheral
awareness was good - I could sense
my breath, my knees, the ringing in
my ears, the odd itch every now and
then. The objects in focus were the
ringiy in my ears, a cycle of breath,
birdsong in the distance, a creak or
two in the room.
Thoughts appeared
I observed them- one about planning,
one about goff. A few other random
thoughts.

The last 15 mins I allowed myself just
to listen, watch & feel without attempting
to vocalise & work out descriptions
for this post. This was much more
relaxing and I found I could take in a
lot more without having to identify
the sensations.
Metta today was focused on niece and cute animals. I find if I imagine
the embracing them it helps. Obviously
not embracing baby crocodiles!
Out to play late golf now, hope the
weather holds!
Have a lovely day!
I am reading your posts just can't show it!