Week 26 Day 6

MMedi object choiceless awareness Intention to monitor alertness Afternoon All! Today around 30 mins practice, attempted 5 mins metta and 25 mins noting on the tube. As I started I heard loud earphone leakage from a woman opposite. I couldn't believe how loud it was, I don't think she put the earphones correctly into her ears. She seemed oblivious so I tried to continue, however she kept playing the same track over and over. I found it hard to concentrate on my meditation object during metta, maybe I need a little more of a stable space to practice it? For noting, of course the earphone leakage was dominant until about 10 mins in when she stopped listening to it. Then my neighbour's perfume featured, it could have been the same person as yesterday but I wasn't sure. I then launched into a massive thought trail where I knew I was thinking but my mind wanted to stay there. This demonstrates that we really have little control over where the mind goes. I felt aversion to these thoughts yet was strongly drawn to them. The interesting thing was that although these were thoughts about a future event, it played as though the situation was happening at that instant. I watched myself addressing some issues then thinking about whether I was too sensitive. I was noting that I was thinking so not lost in thought, but not happy to move away until resolution. The thoughts were interrupted as I needed to change trains. The bracing wind soon cleared my mind of those thoughts replacing those sensations with a shivering body. Everyone else always looks as though it's not cold - is it just me? When I boarded the next train, I found a seat and continued my practice. The thoughts had well and truly gone by then so I was focusing on the sounds of the trains whilst keeping half an eye on a blind man opposite me (with white stick). I then pondered about how I could go about life with my eyes closed all the time, and that it was hard enough being observant for formal practice let alone doing it all the time! It's the weekend! Will need to fit in meditation either very early or last thing, would prefer the former but will see how it goes! Have a great weekend! 🐽💜🐽 26/5

Week 26 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness Intention to check in to monitor the quality of attention Morning all! Today I am travelling further than usual to Liverpool Street. The tube is cool but crowded. Noting today was 30 mins. I had the intention of monitoring the quality of my attention throughout the practice. At the start my focus there was on a guy sitting next to me. Nope not me fancying him, but him flirting on the phone with a woman. Every so often I could hear her muffled voice at the other end like the voice of the teacher in Charlie Brown. The reason why I knew he was flirting was because they were talking about nothingness....plans, journey, reminiscences and the guy was being sooo encouraging 😁. Definitely wooing. Not girlfriend yet. Anyhoo the conversation was interrupted by several cut offs if service so I was able to focus on other things...phew I was getting a bit irritated by the constant chatter. Pleasant and unpleasant the sane time. There were no station announcements until just past Acton Town unusually. The door alarms went through a pattern of 4 beats 6 times. I felt the warmth in my hands and sometimes swirls in front of my eyes. At one point early on I cycled through the senses checking out what was out there. For a while there was some movement on my other side. Woman putting on make up,  such a thin person with wide sharp elbows. Then she flicked her hair a few times which touched my shoulders. ..just as well she didn't have Farrah Fawcett locks they would have been all over me . I checked in and monitored my attention every few seconds.  Took a bit of getting used to. But actually very useful. I noticed I was in a thought already at one point.  Then a very clear image of a yoghurt pot appeared! Very weird since I don't eat yoghurt! The monitoring actually made the practice a lot more interesting and time passed quickly. I used to check my alertness by seeing whether I could sense all periphery sensations so perhaps I need to combine this way of checking (focusing on the most recent medi object and seeing how much detail I have retained). Half way through a planning meeting...thankfully. Not being in the present...better get back to it. 🐽💜🐽 26/5

Week 26 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness Intention to remain alert and receptive to all sensations Morning all! Today was a strange one. As I got on the train there was a chap that had slumped in his seat and his legs were across the walkway. I presumed that he had conked out at some point and there was a bottle of water next to him. I began meditation but my emotional focus was on that slumped body...wondering if he was ok. He'd tucked his arms into the body of his top so he looked like had no arms. Anyhoo I observed my aversion yet curiosity about this person, the noises were secondary and I noted that each person coming into this section of the carriage gingerly stepped over him. One woman sat opposite him and neatly placed her feet at an angle to his! A couple got on and laughed gently asking Is he ok? I peered over at him and realised that his facial expression had changed, so then not unconscious just sleeping and sure enough nearing my stop I heard a voice probably asking where we were and then he curled up and continued to sleep. As I got off the seat next to him was still empty as I watched the train speed away. The Audible platform advert was I'm front of me again, the woman with text wrapped around her, except that the cross bar of the t was in front of her trousers which indicates a spot of Photoshopping! I stepped on the next train and found a seat and continued to meditate, listening to the stream of German coming from the next section. The door alarm had a pattern which went off 5 times. I realised that my mind had drifted into planning mode, and wondered at what point I had done that. Recent practices have a different feel to them  - instead of focusing on technique - labelling, making sure that I can observe all my senses (i.e. sometimes cycling round the senses to check in with each), I just check that my alertness by confirming my periphery awareness and then allow the observation to just go where it wants - be it paper rustling, momentary squeek, long announcements, itches....much more relaxing experience. That said, the drift off into thought still happens, so I continue to attempt to observe the start of thought with mixed success. Also, I've noticed that I fall asleep more readily with no concerns (unless I have mistakenly drank too much caffeine in the afternoon). Possibly this is a good time to start the process of getting up earlier during the weekdays. At the weekends, I plan when to wake up and have been able to fit in my practice before starting the day. Can't quite manage that during the week, before 8 I'm definitely less alert.  Not sure when I'll be able to perform the "holy hour" at 5am, but if I can I'll get there! Ok time to post, have a great day - the sun is shining here (I'm stuck in the office bah). At least I face the windows! 26/4

Week 26 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to remain alert and experience raw sensations

Morning all!  Today a short practice on the tube. Just under 30 mins. Noting only, metta later.

Facebook appears to have caught up with itself, fingers crossed!

Noting. Last night very tired this morning no different. After a few breaths to settle, main meditation focus was the smell of strong perfume on the person next to me. It had several notes and I tried to detect each as it wafted across me. Am very rubbish at detecting flower scents but there were several. Sometimes it's unfortunate that perfumes remind me of toilet freshener but not this one!  Not unpleasant but very dominant. The announcements today were clipped at the beginning of each sentence. The door alarm also chimed in at each station. 2 beeps 6 times before the door closes.

I realised I had drifted into thought solution mode nearing my stop. As I got off the train the usual icy beeze caught my breath as I saw a connecting train slide off the platform. However the next train came soon. Very unpleasant vedana with the breeze whipping round my body...Hard not to focus on anything else but that.

I got on the next train and sat opposite a family of four.  Well one presumes so! I mused if all meditation practice requires that one keeps peripheral awareness or if there are some that allow you to drift into a trance like state. The word meditation appears to be used for a whole raft of activities from chilling out after yoga to keeping your temper!

Anyhoo its lunchtime now as I finish off this post. Have a fab day! 🐽💜🐽

26/3

Week 26 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to observe sensations without vocalising 

Evening all! I'm still in a world of my own on Facebook. 😖 When I visit posts that I know others have viewed only I seem to have viewed it. Also, I can add comments, but when you send me comments even though you tag me I can't see them and they don't come into my mail either. Have reported it, but not sure what else to do. It only seems to be with this group. I think I start to see more once Nick is active but it's a bit random (something to do with you being an admin?)...also 2 copies of my posts appear and instead of it saying 'you and 45 others liked this' I appear on the list of people who liked. I have uninstalled and installed...but not on the iPad, will try that!

Today I practiced for 45 mins, 5 mins metta at the end. I decided to observe the sensations without trying to describe them for the post, I just wanted to observe. Was a lot more relaxing. Usually I vocalise as well as label. 

The dominant sensations today were the other noises! The ringing my ears, the warmth of my hands and the sound and feeling of the breathing all were in the periphery today. Main focus was sounds around the house, a click there and creak here, upstairs my neighbours were having a conversation, birdsong and the washing machine noises.

I had thoughts about a robin that had flown out of my shed this morning. After practice I walked up to the shed quietly and peered in...two pairs of eyes stared back! Fledglings! I don't know how old they were but they were standing on my glass table. Cute but made me nervous. So in practice the vedana for this thought was pleasant and unpleasant. A nervous expectation. The only problem is that all my gardening tools are in there...oh well just can't mow the lawn then in the interests of wildlife!

Just had a two hour doze, was so exhausted. So back to this morning's practice. No boredom came, just chilled observation, 45 mins finished in a flash...I didn't have thoughts about the timer and did not lose alertness. I moved from object to object without pause and I think I noticed a few thoughts arising (rather than realising once I was in a thought) due to me thinking about certain words...eg robin elicited the trail about the best.

Anyhoo, hope my FB world returns to normalcy soon! Have a good evening!

🐽💜🐽

26/2

Week 26 Day 1

Medi object choice less
Intention to observe more detail and to
observe boredom
Morning all! As of yesterday I have had
FB challenges, so I cannot see any posts
since yesterday. I also cannot like or
comment on any posts. I'm in a world
of my own!
Today's practice was 50 mins, 45 noting
5 Metta at the end. As yesterday I
noted boredom, I tried to challenge myself
to get off the plateau. For the first 30 mins
I attempted to observe the start and finish
of any sensation in focus. Peripheral
awareness was good - I could sense
my breath, my knees, the ringing in
my ears, the odd itch every now and
then. The objects in focus were the
ringiy in my ears, a cycle of breath,
birdsong in the distance, a creak or
two in the room.
Thoughts appeared
I observed them- one about planning,
one about goff. A few other random
thoughts.

The last 15 mins I allowed myself just
to listen, watch & feel without attempting
to vocalise & work out descriptions
for this post. This was much more
relaxing and I found I could take in a
lot more without having to identify
the sensations.
Metta today was focused on niece and cute animals. I find if I imagine
the embracing them it helps. Obviously
not embracing baby crocodiles!
Out to play late golf now, hope the
weather holds!
Have a lovely day!
I am reading your posts just can't show it!

Week 25 Day 7

[Written earlier before golf]

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to remain alert and observe raw sensations

Morning all! Today 5 mins metta and 40 mins noting with a bit of metta at the end.

Today I prepared for golf and ate breakfast before practice. I felt a bit stiff in my lower back so stretched a little before sitting.

The metta was irritatingly mixed with thoughts which I duly moved to the periphery which is why I did some more metta practice at the end. Will need to switch interval bells to put metta at the end properly.

Today the main meditation object was the ringing in my ears where I noticed at the start the sounds pulsing in time with my heartbeat. After a while this faded. The room was quiet so every little sensation was an interesting focus. There were noises from upstairs but they stopped after a few seconds. The interesting thing was what was NOT present, no heating sounds, no whirring. The iron did its usual ping after being on (the rare time I had to iron! )

Time moved quickly for the first 15 mins. I then started to observe that I was in thought after thought. My breathing had disappeared from my periphery which meant I had momentarily gone into a thought daze. I renewed intention to remain alert. I noted that on returning to full alertness, focus was on the warmth of my knees and the postion of my hands was strangely detached from my body. I then observed that the fuzziness seemed to want to return and I realised that boredom has set in. I pondered why this boredom had arisen. It could be that my alertness had dropped off and that I was about to doze off but I didn't feel tired. Perhaps I had become to used to the sounds in the room and needed to examine them in more detail. The sense of boredom was not unpleasant but one of familiarity, like when you drive down a road a thousand times and go into autopilot. I recall that a few years ago whenever I drove the short journey home from work - only 15 mins - as soon as I hit the motorway I started to feel sleepy so I had to wind down the window, sing ...anything to keep me awake. Yet I could drive for miles and miles on an unfamiliar road.

Anyway the sense of boredom did dissipate as I noticed some unusual swirls in front of my eyes for a while, the neighbours are up properly now.

I did a few minutes of metta at the end and felt strong feelings towards the objects.

Ok now I have to be physically super focused and get myself down to the golf club and keep my handicap down! It's about to go up so I need to play to it to hang on to it! (I could explain how handicaps could go up and down if you want it...it's pretty akin to equanimity...but later)

25/7

Week 25 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to observe intimate details of meditation object

[Written earlier]

Morning all! Today's practice was 40 mins starting with 5 mins metta.

Metta is getting betta 😆 Now I can grasp the feeling I can share it amongst various people and animals. Imagining the sensation of touch does help a lot.

Ok today's noting as per the pinned post is on detail. Today's main meditation focus was the ringing in my ears which I shall attempt to describe. 

The sounds are like waves of differing frequencies. When I am breathing in they appear to converge in my ears. I noted that there is one wave which pulsates very rapidly at a high pitch. The others grow and wane in intensity with my breathing. If I take a deep breath the waves become stronger inside my ears. The sounds feel like they are actually going through my head out to infinity at the level of my ears. The vedana is mixed, whilst I don't like hearing the ringing there is a certain reassurance about them being there. 

Every so often my focus would move to a tweet which sounded afar off. The tweet only lasted for a second or so and seemed so quiet yet I could zoom in on it so quickly. I alternated between tweet and ringing for most of the practice.

Towards the end I noticed a few thoughts, one about a future event and another about a man giving instructions  to his son.  Both were not very pleasant vedana.

Back to now...Am now sitting next to 14th green at Wentworth and the sun's out.

Have a great weekend and great practices. 🐽💜🐽

25 /6

Week 25 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to observe all possible sensations and their detail

Morning all!  Today finally have more energy. Over the weekend I felt exhausted but I've gradually come out of the fuzziness.

Meditated for nearly 40 mins today 5 mins metta either end. The metta at the start seemed to be filled with distractions so I repeated it at the end when I was able to concentrate on the feeling much more strongly.

This morning the predominant sensation was the sound of the train moving. The whirring noise starts low then works up to a higher pitch. It is accented with thuds over the tracks. It is accompanied with the physical movement of the carriage. I was also drawn a few times to swirls in front of my eyes alternating green and purple and receding into the distance, quite pleasant and mesmerising.The station announcements, the door alarms, rustling of newspapers and voices, all chimed in every now and then, but today the main noise was this whirring noise. I could also hear the muffled announcements from the driver's cab and every so often when we stopped a quiet voice over the speakers would reassure passengers that we would be moving again shortly.

Overall, the sensations seemed pleasant to neutral, almost reassuring. I can understand why people get nervous when the train stops particularly in tunnels, which is why the driver is instructed to reassure the passengers that nothing is amiss.

I disembarked and mindfully observed the new poster that has been stuck over the Scottish Widows advert. It is an advert for Audible, with a quote from To Kill a Mocking Bird. Half the poster is of a woman with long curly red hair with very old fashioned headphones on, with a cord leading to a generic phone in her left back pocket. She is looking up and pulling her sleeve up. The text of the quote is wrapped around her. More examination next week.

On the next train, I manage to get a seat straight away, and continued to meditate for around 10 minutes. The sounds are different on this train, there is more open space on the carriage and it is less crowded. The whirring moving sound though remains the same. I decided to end with metta, I felt the lovingkindness feeling but it wanes in and out, there is much distraction with noisy passengers getting on the train.

Sun's out! Have a great day and practice! 🐽 💜 🐽

25/5

Week 25 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations and to observe thoughts coming and going

Morning all! Today's meditation was interrupted by a chain of planning thoughts and other issues. However I persevered and attempted practice on the tube as I usually do.

A man next to me was sniffing at regular intervals. Unfortunately that has very unpleasant vedana for me which goes back many years to my youth. My father used to rebuke me every time I sniffed (as I had a lot of allergies as a child) and now I appear to have developed this aversion - repulsion even to sniffing. I observed this aversion. Physically I felt a bit sick and mentally I was thinking about offering him a tissue, I was also very irritated. The sniffing lessened when he decided to take a nap.

This irritation then continued in the form of a jumble of planning/complaining thoughts. They were basically doing my head in! I tried to stay with them, but the noises in the train completed and so instead I had thought announcement thought sniff thought door alarm. It was chaos!

I got off the tube and did some mindful walking until the next train came. I felt chilled as the bracing wind blew through the platform. I noted the softness of the comfy shoes beneath my feet. I noted the relief of not being near a sniffing man!

I continued my meditation on the next tube which was quieter. Still the thoughts came, but I tried to accept them into the world of noises, the feeling of my hand wrapped around my wrist and whatever breathing I could sense.

It appears that I have sensory overload on the tube. Having been away from the tube for a couple of weeks, practising in quiet surroundings, I find that the tube environment has too many sensations to keep up with! I think that over the recent weeks my choiceless awareness has become keener but really there is too much on the tube to take in all at once. Unless I take it in in one big chunk.

Anyhoo, today I will practising mindful decision making.

Have a great day and practice! 

25/4

Week 25 Day 3

Medi object choiceless
Intention to remain alert and receive all sensations

Noting was 25 mind on the tube. First sensation a tube fart!   ARRRGH!  I was breathing in quite deeply at the time and focus shot to that. I opened my eyes briefly  but the sensation passed as quickly as it arose so either it was controlled or not from the bump in front of my nose!

With choiceless awareness there are many sounds that dominate for several seconds. Announcements , door warnings,  door alarms. As they came into being I listened to them all. The soft husky voice of the station announcer.  The iconic Mind The Gap announcements on the station platforms.

I was travelling towards Covent Garden today so I didn't have to change. As we moved underground I felt a sensation of cool breeze enveloping me.

As I had plenty of time till my meeting I disembarked from the train and watched my fellow passengers rush off to the exit. As I ambled down the platform I noted how different the environment was without the hustle and bustle of the travellers.

I'm in Starbucks eating breakfast and I sneezed and the man next to me flinched as though I had sneezed all over him! I did have a tissue over my nose...the man has been brushing himself ever since, a few crumbs may have blown off my plate 😀...it's very breezy outside...and a gust of wind comes through the door every time it is opened.

As I walked passed what was the tube entrance (closed for a few months) I saw a quote on a board which was food for thought. 

Have a great day and practice!

25/3

Week 25 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and experience raw sensation before mental elaboration.

Evening all! Today I practiced for 35 minutes - a metta noting metta sandwich. I enjoyed the metta so much at the beginning of the session I decided after the 30 min bell to do another 5 minutes which was just as enjoyable.

Today's metta was focused on my niece. I felt the strong loving feeling remain a while into noting.

Noting began with the breath today. I had itches in places that I haven't had before! I had to deal with a few but the others faded. As I observed sensation by sensation, sometimes the ringing in my ears would come into focus and split into several different sounds, and different intensities as well. I also often felt focus on the warmth of my hands on my knees. There was a running commentary by my neighbours upstairs accented by coughing.

I did feel a little drifting, but only around the 20 minute mark,  I decided to stop noting at 30 minutes.

No back ache today which is unusual, I guess it varies from day to day, the sounds of the day were very loud  birdsong, the heating clicks along with my neighbours' conversations.

This morning I did attempt to meditate on the tube but I was feeling very exhausted. After about 20 minutes of fidgeting, I decided to read some of the 30 DOM material instead. I thought I was going to be able to meditate during the day, but wasn't free to do so.

In the end, evening meditation is not that bad I just need to make sure that I don't leave it too late and eat something beforehand to energise myself for the exploration!

Hope you all had a very nice day, and that tomorrow is even nicer!

25/2

Week 25 Day 1

Medi object Choiceless awareness
Intention to remain alert and deconstruct boredom

Evening all! I practiced earlier this morning and finished at1220 meditated for 35 mins due to deadline.

Today very alert. Did eat something beforehand.  But it is middle of day so this may explain alertness.

Metta was excellent I was able to maintain the feeling for 5 minutes easily. Thought of Liz's grandson Dean, my mother and my niece.

Moved to choiceless awareness straight away, moved focus round reasonably quickly - breathing and ringing of ears were home base.

Thoughts of a beautiful scenery of open sea sparkling in the sunlight came into view.  Then someone took me to a hill top to survey the scenery below (I spent most if the time thinking about the hill!) Then I had thoughts of my darling niece and her family situation which brought a sensation of sadness and tears to my eyes. I stayed with this sensation for as long as it lasted. Unpleasant vedana but it is situation I cannot control so have  accepted it.

My neighbour was coughing badly,  may not be the son actually.  Each time they coughed my focus went to it. A deep hollow drilling noise which was very unpleasant.

The ringing of the ears when it was in focus was multi layered. At least 4 different frequencies.

At all times, the warmth on my knees, the ringing of my ears and breathing were in the periphery so I knew that my attention was good.

My left lower back was aching. I noted my intention to adjust but it took a few times to stop it aching. It stopped altogether when I was watching the sensations relating to my niece.

Felt very calm mainly yet alert like the sparkling sea expansive and all encompassing.  A most pleasant vedana indeed.

No weariness, no drowsiness just relaxed contemplation which I could have continued but now I had to dash!

In terms of alertness, it is not for lack of enthusiasm that I find myself dozing. In reality I thought the best energy would be at the start of the day but I think it is actually just before lunchtime for me.  I have always been a night owl. The practices in the evening are reasonable and sometimes pretty good. May be I have an aversion to practising in the evening because the natural assumption is that I would be tired.

Unfortunately practising every day at around 11am is not possible due to work particularly now I practice for longer. But I could do a shorter practice (bog medi) then to supplement a second session in the evening. I do tube meditation but I realise now that that is not always ideal either.

Played golf today in the glorious sunshine. I have been playing well recently and have added some mindful focus to my feet to maintain balance with good results (handicap cut by 2). If I don't focus on the balance, shots are a bit unpredictable. Anyhoo golfing is over for this week so will need to put those ideas into
practice next week. Mindfulness also helps with mood and keeping cool when other players are unravelling!

Weekend is over, back to the daily grind! Today is Day 1 of the 25th week of daily meditation...do you think it might be a ha it now?

25/1

Week 24 Day 7

Deconstruct sensations and remain alert

Evening all. Today I did 2 meditations. One on awakening and one after a shower after I returned home. The reason I've done two is that I felt very foggy this morning and was yawning through the entire practice, constantly having to refocus. I thought how can I be tired I've only just woken up? I mused it might be that I was hungry, will test that tomorrow! 

From this morning:

Morning all! today I meditated for 40 minutes. 

As the practice progressed I became warmer and warmer to the point of discomfort. I observed my own aversion to this sensation. In the end I removed the blankets. it was still very uncomfortable so in the last 10 minutes I turn on the fan. However, the fan is only about 2 feet away from me so I immediately felt a chill on my left side and the cold air was blowing on my face and on my arms. It was then completely the opposite to boiling so I had a cold sensation which I had an aversion to and then I had to put the blanket around my body which seemed to calm this chill factor. I was still feeling fuzzy so I decided to experiment and to see how easy it was to fall asleep. I completely relaxed my alertness and found that I could doze off just like that!

So for the entire 40 minutes I had this blanket of haze which I felt I had to fight. If I did not fight it I would simply lose alertness and doze off. I did keep my eyes open for the last 30 minutes of the practice this did help but still I was feeling fuzzy.

I noted that my general mood was one of calm and perhaps boredom. I did note that there were not so many unfamiliar noises, I heard some birdsong. I heard a strange scraping intermittent noise from upstairs. I explored this feeling of boredom and tried to work out why I thought I was bored. Perhaps it was the the intensity of concentrating coupled with the ringing in my ears that seems to be a little mesmerizing, as well as the heat.  I often refocused myself after yawning and focused on deep breath and went through listening and seeing and feeling. This morning's practice was pretty tough but still interesting to notice that even if I get up first thing in the morning and think I would have the best energy that was not the case. 

 Evening session:

45 minutes, 5 mins metta, 30 mins noting, last 10 mins with eyes open.

So this evening I was in a meditating mood so I decided to see how I fared in practice. I was able to have strong feelings in the metta for 5 minutes. In terms of noting I could keep my eyes shut until the last 10 minutes, I decided to keep my eyes open.

I discovered what that strange noise was, my neighbour's son coughing! Doesn't sound good! I heard it yesterday as well. I cycled through the senses my breathing, hearing seeng and feeling. I observed that my focus was often on the warmth on my knees. My hands sometimes tingled and the warmth was very pleasant. During the practice I measured my boredom level. I was not bored at all, but felt very motivated and positive. Despite that I still nodded a few times but not as many times as this morning. For a while I focused on the noises from upstairs, this strange coughing noise and some music. I then flitted about from my knees, the ringing in my ears, the ache in my back and then some single thoughts were weaved through all of this. I did have some thought trails one particular one about solving a problem. A few itches came to the forefront but faded or my focus moved onto something else.  All this while the vedana was mainly positive I did not feel any irritation. In fact some of the time I felt a smile on my face as I felt a bit like an explorer this evening!

At one point I seemed to be dithering and observed everything at once, then went back to my breathing.

For the last ten minutes I sat with my eyes open, I realised I had closed my eyes three times, and one time I caught my eyelids closing . However, I am beginning to get used to practice with my eyes open and was able to have peripheral awareness of the warmth on my knees, the ringing and my back ache whilst focusing on the breath.

So in conclusion, although in both sessions I was tired, in the morning one I felt a bit helpless to stop the dozing. In the evening session, I felt much more alert despite having played golf, socialised, gone shopping etc. I was able to observe the drifting and stop it more readily. I had my eyes closed for most of the session unlike the morning. 

So the dilemma is that I cannot get up three hours before I head to work to make sure I am alert enough for practice, and if I leave it till the evening there is a chance that I could be mentally tired (particularly after work, today is a Sarturday, so not too much thinking!)

Anyhoo, tomorrow, I will eat something before practice and see how it goes. I still would like to practice in the morning as I feel it sets the scene for the rest of the day.

Hope you've had a great day and practice!

Week 24 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations and test quality of awareness

Morning all! A better effort today as I've managed to get up earlier and have a 30 min meditation. Today's meditation started with sneezing for 3 minutes at least. It is the hay fever season and it was very difficult to focus on anything other than the sneezing!

After about 6 or 7 minutes the itching in the nose calmed down. I attempted 5 minutes metta but it was mixed with sneezing. Very hard, and felt I hadn't done much when the bell went.

The noting began with couple of deep breaths and as I'm in a hotel room there are different sensations. For a while I could hear the ringing in my ears predominantly and then there were many external noises outside the hotel window. I identified these as utility trucks picking up rubbish. So there were rumbling noises and beeping noises relating to this activity. There was also some activity outside the hotel room door - footsteps, doors shutting.

I felt coolness around my body and yet heat from the shower. This combination provided a mild chilling effect.

I tried to observe the quality of my attention and this actually helped after a little drifting at around 15 minutes in. After the sneezing calmed down I watched a few thought trains, whilst keeping the ringing in my ears, the feeling of my hands on my knees, and sounds of the rubbish trucks in the periphery.

I  felt very calm (bored?) and noted that if I straightened my back attention would move forward and became stronger. Slouching is definitely not good for high alertness!

Sniffing has now replaced the sneezing, so armed with a wodge of tissues I will attempt breakfast.

Hope you all have a great day and practice!

24/5

Week 24 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations and test quality of awareness

Morning all! A better effort today as I've managed to get up earlier and have a 30 min meditation. Today's meditation started with sneezing for 3 minutes at least. It is the hay fever season and it was very difficult to focus on anything other than the sneezing!

After about 6 or 7 minutes the itching in the nose calmed down. I attempted 5 minutes metta but it was mixed with sneezing. Very hard, and felt I hadn't done much when the bell went.

The noting began with couple of deep breaths and as I'm in a hotel room there are different sensations. For a while I could hear the ringing in my ears predominantly and then there were many external noises outside the hotel window. I identified these as utility trucks picking up rubbish. So there were rumbling noises and beeping noises relating to this activity. There was also some activity outside the hotel room door - footsteps, doors shutting.

I felt coolness around my body and yet heat from the shower. This combination provided a mild chilling effect.

I tried to observe the quality of my attention and this actually helped after a little drifting at around 15 minutes in. After the sneezing calmed down I watched a few thought trains, whilst keeping the ringing in my ears, the feeling of my hands on my knees, and sounds of the rubbish trucks in the periphery.

I  felt very calm (bored?) and noted that if I straightened my back attention would move forward and became stronger. Slouching is definitely not good for high alertness!

Sniffing has now replaced the sneezing, so armed with a wodge of tissues I will attempt breakfast.

Hope you all have a great day and practice!

24/5

Week 24 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to observe raw sensations, remain alert!

Evening all! Today I managed to meditate just before a early morning meeting. I was working from home. Still need to rejig my morning routine I'm an habitual late riser and it's tough trying to practise first thing.

Only 15 mins, but I made it work for me. I needed to practise in order to put myself into a more positive state for the day. As soon as I got up I was fretting about work (and now I know who my new boss is, heaven help me).

So I set to sorting out my mind. I started with a couple of minutes of metta and was able to maintain the feeling of loving kindness for most of the time, think I am remembering the sensation.

Noting started with a few deep breaths and a good old listen to whatever noises were around. In my house it was quiet and so the ringing in my ears was prevalent. I sat motionless (sometimes I fidget) and that is the best way to get into effortless mode. It's almost like I have to 'not exist' so that I can observe what's happening around me. I did feel a sharp pressure in my chest which I can identify with anxiety. As I continued to attempt the effortless observation, the pressure became less and I felt very calm, no more fretting. My body around my arms knees and torso became a block, not uncomfortable but seemed stable. A few swirls in the eyes as well. I can't remember the exact thoughts arising and passing but there were a few intermingled with the other physical sensations. 

It's very late (nearly midnight) and I've only just finished dinner. I'm in a familiar hotel room. (Used to work more regularly here last year) but the difference is...as I don't eat sugar I'm looking at the complimentary chocolates on the plate and thinking shall I? It's only a very small craving easily fended off. That's what mindfulness has allowed me to do ...notice cravings and urges and then I can 'control' my next actions.

Anyhoo, off to finish watching Only Connect...Taraaa and goodnight!

24/4

Week 24 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations and try to spot thoughts arising.

Morning all! Today I got up early to meditate before heading off to play golf. I did 30 minutes in total 5 minutes metta 25 minutes noting.

5 minutes metta, I managed to hold the sensation of loving kindness for a couple of minutes ahain but there were conflicting thoughts in my mind.

Noting - I noticed that the room was quite warm. I started with noting the breath and hearing sounds and noting the warmth on my hands and knees and a coolness beneath my feet. I could feel a light breeze around my legs. I immediately had some thought trains and some were triggered by a word or image in my head. Some other were random thoughts.

The first thought I had was of Liz Usher's dogs I think it was because she had recounted an incident with dogs and rabbits! The others were not so clear but towards end I did notice some golfing images. Still can't spot the start of them.

About 10 minutes into noting I felt that the meditation  became effortless so that I could hear sounds, feel my knees  and sense my breathing all at once. I was trying also to explore the sense of heat I was feeling around my body particularly on my arms. This became quite unpleasant and I felt uncomfortable. This feeling of heat remained until the end of the practice.

I tried to sense the raw sensation first and then I would categorise it or recognise it as a particular labelled sensation. I could hear the clicking in the background which I identified as heating sounds from the radiator to the right, I noted the warmth in my knees and hands. I noticed the ache in my back but it was not too prevalent today.

I had to cough about 15 minutes in and had to drink some water. Yesterday I started to cough when leaving a voicemail so I had to hang up and redial!  Towards the end I was listening out for the bell - my problem is that sometimes I wake up too early and then fall asleep again and then can't get up at my prescribed time so get up a bit late. Problems of a night owl.

My mind would focus on the thoughts and then when a physical sensation came about my focus would move to the itch whilst the thought was still in the background. In the meantime in the periphery the ringing of my ears, the feeling of my hands and feet, the breathing were all present.

Hope that you have a great day and practice!

Week 24 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe all possible raw sensations

Morning all! Today I am back to the tube meditation for 30 mins.  First metta and was able to keep focus on loving kindness feeling for a couple of minutes!

Noting - so different after 2 weeks! I found that there was a lot more to listen to and observe, almost too much. As soon as I started, I was on a planning thought trail so refocused on the breath few a few cycles. After that I let go. Voices, mechanical noises, announcements, the woman next to me sighed it was as clear as crystal. I noted how my hands were clasped and my Pebble watch buzzed every now and then. I felt weary and momentarily drifted and opened my eyes wondering if I had missed my stop, but no still in track.

A few images came into view and were interspersed by sounds. Because this is such a busy environment I could only just make out the ringing in my ears.

I got off the first train and the advert for Scottish Widows has been replaced by an audible advert with a quote from To Kill A Mocking Bird. I'll enjoy examining that in detail but the second train came soon today.

Only one day of work, then a day off for a golf event. So just need to get through today! I will be travelling for work on Wednesday/Thursday so my schedule will be even more disrupted.

Have a great day and practice!

Week 24 Day 1

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe how thoughts arise

[Written this morning..posted late]

Morning all!  Today practice shortened to 30 mins due to deadline. 5 mins metta focusing on my mother and towards the end was able to focus on the sensation for a minute or so.

Noting began with some random thoughts so I returned to observe the breath as I thought I would be lost in the content.  After a few breaths I let my mind wander. Again thoughts appeared about yesterday's activities. I noted that it was not clear how I got into the thought but I noticed I was in it about 2 seconds in. It seems that for an instant I lose sight of the breath, go into the thought then think ummm something missing? Oh yes the peripheral sensations.  When this happens I do then feel my breath, the warmth in my hands and the external clicking noises. Ringing in ears pervades throughout practice.

After thoughts, warmth was prevalent there was a moment when I felt quite hot and uncomfortable. My hands were burning and the heat moved around my torso.

Travelling in the environment I visited the swirls in from of my eyes, noises from upstairs, aches in the back, ringing in the ears, a few itches on my face which passed and more....

Sometimes these sensations were interspersed with mini thoughts and sometimes a series of thoughts ocurred.

I can remember one thought which was a video that I shared about Poonami..how to change your baby's clothes in case of poo explosion! Why I remembered that? Probably because of the word Poonami..

I noticed a slight drift towards the end.

Must dash, have a great  day and practice!

24/1

Week 23 Day 7

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sensations, to observe boredom

Morning all! Today after zzzzz practice I am now very alert! Haha. I am practising on awakening. It seems that if I practise within an hour of getting up I maintain alertness more easily.

Metta today was only a mini battle between medi object and thoughts. Each time the thoughts arose I pushed them to the periphery by refocusing on my object. The feeling of loving kindness was maintained on and off through the 5 mins.

For noting I started watching the breathing then pretty soon a string of thought trains came into my mind one after the other. They were relevant thoughts about activities of the past day, some scenes from the film I watched last night, some memories of yesterday's tasks. I observed as they progressed one after the other with neutrality and these were interspersed with other sensations. I noted a spray of coloured dots like stars moving forward for a split  second then felt warmth on my knees as the scenes moves in and out of focus. Towards the end of practice I heard a song in the background.

A pain in my left lower back was predominant throughout and even though I noted it and then noted my intention to adjust posture, the pain was not completely relieved.

Noises from upstairs and a quick buzz from my Pebble watch also popped up. I wondered what that was for but resisted the urge to look.

Last night I had knocked the bedside table and a memory of a back round stone cane into my mind as I wondered where it was. I opened my eyes momentarily but it was not on the table...

I noted that I seemed to be searching or listening out for sensations, trying to spot the quick ones - the flashes in front of my eyes, the tiny creaks and sounds of the house.

The ringing in my ears was a persistent background noise. Some thoughts were interspersed with breathing. ..that is they swapped focus from time to time.

I pondered why so many thoughts were in my head but as no sensation is a distraction I did not reject them nor feel irritated by them.

At 30 mins I noticed the faintest of drifting, a miniscule nod so I decided to finish at 35 mins with the 2 bell sound.

Hedonic tone was mainly positive for most  with my back pain being negative. Yep the boring became interesting when I am not drowsy or not attentive. In fact the drowsier I get the more hard work it seems.. so note to self, it's time to change the life schedule to get the practice in early. Seems like it's a more fruitful session when my mind has not already spent effort on sound and planning stuff. However some do two practices morning and evening..would be interesting to see the different content and tone for each time of day.

Have to dash to my next love - golf.

Have a great day and practice!

23/7

Week 23 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe boredom

Afternoon all! Last night I dozed through the election broadcasts and then this morning completed a few tasks before practice. Have only drank a glass of milk.

Felt very weary these past two days. Started metta and battled with other thoughts even after giving myself a minute or so to settle down  I returned to the image and sounds to try to keep the loving kindness feeling but it was a struggle.

Noting. After watching the rising and falling of the abdomen a few times I allowed my mind to go where it pleased. I observed the cool warmth on my knees and then I focused on a few shivers. I added more blanket as I was only 15 mins into practice. I then started to yawn and some nodding happened. I felt alert and tried to observe when I nodded but only managed to note it as it was happening. I don't ever doze but today I struggled with the nodding. Thoughts arose but past quickly. Thoughts about the lesson I had yesterday and how the guy looked like one of the hosts on a TV show here called Pointless!

I'm still yawning, but I will eat something and have a rest and see if I can energise myself again for another 30 mins of practice before I go out. May be the stress of the election has tired me out!

See you again later maybe!

23/6

Week 23 Day 5

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to allow mind to move from sensation to sensation

Good morning all! Today I set another bell at 35 mins so that I could stop then if my alertness was low. In the end I did 40 mins.

Metta today for 5, focused on image of nieve but thoughts pervaded. I tried to send to periphery so my niece's image was mixed with other thoughts!

Noting. As I was in my safe place I felt calm and neutral. In fact almost felt bored with the neutrality as there were no longer as many different external sounds to explore. My focus rested mainly on the very loud high pitched sounds in my ears which are made up of several tones, one which is continuous and several others which appear to oscillate. I then moved to the warmth on my knees, and then a vibrating in my hands.

In the background and occasionally in the firefront I heard clicking noises and whirring.

All these sensations felt neutral even boring. An image of a man's head popped into focus which was somewhat unpleasant. I observed as the image dissipated after a few seconds.

In between focusing on the high priced noises, my breathing and the clicking noises, I was drawn to some thought scenes of my holiday. Some were pleasant but they were mainly neutral.

Throughout the practice I noted that I was slouched so I slowly adjusted my posture and each time my awareness came to the front. I must observe more closely how I start to slouch as I only notice it when I'm in the position!

A few itches of unpleasant vedana were brought to my attention, a few I dealt with but most I let be.

I heard noises from upstairs which I interpreted as voices.

I noted I had high energy through most of the practice despite the boredom factor. Only near the bell for 35 mins did I feel my alertness drift.

I sat for a few more minutes with my eyes open but they tend to drift shut! Almost had to prop them open with virtual toothpicks.

On reflection, the boredom I noted may be an attachment to 'more different sensations'. There was lots of sensations whilst sitting in my hotel room in Cyprus - mainly very varied birdsong. Last week I didn't feel this at all. Perhaps it reflects my disappointment that the holiday is over, even though I tell myself that I'm looking forward to the things to come.

The observations were fast but not as fast as the last two days. I'm having a shade sail put up today...so I will be able to practise outside for a few months. Is it attachment to want to meditate in interesting surroundings? Or perhaps the sensations could be a distraction or become overwhelming.

Happy Thursday and practice!

23/5

Week 23 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to observe raw sounds and other sensations.

Morning all! In my hotel room facing the open window to the beautiful sea.

Today 5 mins metta and 40 mins noting.

For metta I focused on the children laughing outside, they reminded me of my niece and allowed me to focus on that loving kindness feeling for around a minute at a time.

For noting I started with the breath  but today allowed my awareness to roam freely. Sounds abounded and after feeling the rising and falling of my abdomen and chest a few times I moved to observe what ever came into focus.

The chidren's laughter was loud and piercing at first. I heard the words Retreat Retreat! So must have been playing some war game unless some monster was outside by the pool! Although yesterday the noise was irritating, today the noise was pleasant and positive.  I felt the joy in their voices.

The next sounds were chirrups lasting around a second at a time, then single chirps. I identified these as birds - seems like the different types do not want to be out sung!

I was rapidly brought to what was in front of my eyes which was a pulsing glow in sync with the breath. Before a moment, warmth on my knees was prevalent which was from my hands.

I was often drawn to my back, an ache which increased until I noted the intention to move and then adjusted my posture. This happened several times in the practice.

I also was drawn to loud noises outside my door of an unpleasant hedonic tone. Voices I believe.

Each time I noted a sensation I noted whether it was pleasant unpleasant or neutral.

I was also surprised how quickly the mind can flit from sensation to sensation if one isn't  'controlling' it.

Hard to explain but for the first half hour or so I moved from sensation to sensation rapidly and I can't remember them all. They were all quite fascinating and sometimes I would be listening and then drawn away by another more dominant noise or feeling.

The last 15 mins I noted that my alertness was not as strong. A bit of drifting occurred. Not so ready for 45 mins then! I will reduce to 35 mins and build up.

The last minute I peeked at the clock (note the distraction) so I kept my eyes open and noted the palms and the blue sea and horizon and basked in that very pleasant vedana.

Back to home today, see you on the other side, looking forward to getting home and exploring life there!

Have a great day and practice!

Week 23 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to observe raw sensations and associated vedana

5 mins metta followed by 25 mins noting. I followed the advice about kinaesthetic image for metta and it seemed to work better. More practice required.

Noting for 25 mins. Following on from advice yesterday,  I started with rising and falling of the breath and noted that it was neutral sensation to start off with but after sneezing it was unpleasant and I was irritated. After sneezing if I was drawn to listen to my breathing it felt uncomfortable but not unbearable. 

Lots of hearing sensations today.  I tried to observed the raw sounds first as a whole and identified different types. I noted a short sharp single sound with regular gaps which I identified as birdsong. Then some chirrups. Long lower hollow whistling sounds which I identified as birds too. These were all neutral sensations. 

Then I was drawn to what was in front of my eyes which was just white blobs and I was surprised that I did not see more colour.

Every now and then I was drawn to a sharp harsh noise from outside which was unpleasant. Then when it stopped I felt relief - this was a very pleasant sensation, I noted that as the sound became louder and appeared to be coming closer I became more irritated.

I noted sharp grating noises which were even more unpleasant than the other harsh noise these lasted about 1 or 3 seconds each.

There was a sound outside my room from corridor which was neutral. I deduced it was the corridor door which is automatic. I heard sounds which appeared to be voices and these were irritating to me, 

I felt an ache in my back so I noted my intention to adjust my posture and adjusted it. I did this several times through the meditation.

Nick, listening to raw sounds and not identifying them is ok, but trying to describe them a in post is really difficult! 

Must prep for gala dinner. Look forward to reading all your posts later!

23/3

Week 23 Day 2

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention to remain alert and receptive in a strange place.

Good evening all! I practised this morning but am posting late as I had to dash off to breakfast and then golf. 

Today the weather in Cyprus is more what we are used to, a few wispy clouds with blue sky. I rose early to practice as after golf I am tired so there would be a temptation not to do it! So nooo nooo nooo, priority activities first! 

I did a few minutes metta followed by around 20 minutes noting. If I remember I will sit down and do some metta tonight after we get back from dinner as I never seem to focus on that much.  I face inwards ie away from the open window. 

I began with the observation of breath, labelling the in and out breath as rising and falling. I begin by vocalising and it disappears half way through the practice. I note that the out breath is much longer than the in breath and because I remembered to take antihistamine I am not sneezing like I was yesterday, it's pretty distracting to sneeze and blow ones nose during meditation. After a few breaths I moved as I usually do to cycle round the senses beginning with hearing, then seeing and then feeling. 

Hearing usually gleans the most sensations. Today what a cornucopia of noises! The lawn mower provided unpleasant to neutral vedana as it moved further and further away from my window. Whenever the lawnmower noises stopped, the sense of relief was palpable..very pleasant vedana! There was also lots of birdsong...a cacophony! At least 3 different birdsong I could detect and sometimes 4. Very pleasant. I could just about hear the waves on the beach and sea wall nearby. I could hear the occasional clinking of breakfast crockery from the restaurant nearby. I heard the corridor door open a few times along with some voices outside my hotel room.

When I moved to seeing, I only saw very tiny swirls in front of my eyes. I felt my hands on my knees and my feet in my slippers pressed flat against the floor. I felt a few itches around the sunburn I had acquired due to missing a few spots from the application of sun cream...more diligence required! The air felt warm and there was a very slight breeze but the temperature was a very pleasant vedana. 

My breathing became short and jagged at times. I did not set an interval timer so I looked at the clock twice. When I returned to meditation I noticed that I tended to tilt my neck back so that my back was curved. So with intention I slowly corrected this posture and my alertness moved to the front of my body.

As for thoughts, there were a few mainly about breakfast and planning. I noted that I became lost on a planning thought but when I realised I became an observer and then watched the thought scene to completion. I did think about the lovely dinner that I had last night and the excellent company.

I think the most pleasant vedana was the fact I did not have to listen to screaming children as they not playing at the outside pool yet! Love them dearly but all of you know they sound like they are being murdered when they are excited and running around! 

Just returned from a round of golf. Very tough but thoroughly enjoyable. Golf and meditation are my two loves at the moment. You'll hear a lot about both!

Hope you all had a great day, I will post this to 7dmk, 365 DOM and to hear as I have previously committed. 

Look forward to reading all your posts!

🐽💜🐽

23/2

Week 23 Day 1

Medi object choiceless
Intention to meditate for 60 mins observe sensations and aversions

Afternoon all! Today is a rest day so I had the opportunity to meditate for a longer period - 60 mins. 5 mins metta 55 mins noting.

Metta efforts passed quickly so I may have to increase to 10 mins.

Noting started with a few breaths and then I observed the rising and falling of the abdomen, then moved to seeing - deep purple slow moving swirls in front of my eyes. I then moved to hearing and it seems that all the families are out in force round the pool along with the intermittent screams of children. I find this noise very irritating but accepted my aversion to this sensation and at times the noise moved to the background. I could also hear a buzzing which I thought was a vacuum cleaner but it was actually music. Greek music to be precise, when I eventually focused on it. This is being broadcast in the public areas. There is an automatic door near my room so I heard that open several times. The ringing of my ears was subdued due to the busy noisy external environment.

I felt my hands on my knees and my feet in the slippers on a towel. The seat sloped backwards so my feet didn't touch the floor without the towel under them.

As I was facing inwards and the window was only open a crack,  I didn't hear the waves only the piercing children noises, table tennis playing and the canned music. There is little privacy in the hotel otherwise I would find a quiet spot outside to practice. With so many people in our group several of them are always milling around the grounds. And they are very sociable so it would not be long until I would be accosted by one of them.

I continued easily past the 45 min bell, but began to drift after that so I moved to the edge of the bed and faced the cream wall with my eyes open. The unusual thing is that my shadow appeared not solid as I sat there.

Not many thoughts the first 45 mins, then a flood of them the last 15. It appears that the mind drifts to what it does best ie thinking when it is weary. I watched the thoughts as I realised I was in them to the end of each and then returned to the breath.

So not quite ready for 60 mins but 45 to 50 is comfortable.

Kris Akabusi, for those know him, is joining us for the rest of the stay. I saw his loud trousers walk by earlier!

So now I'm going to totally chillax and lounge and lunch, followed by more lounging and will watch the vids ready for the start of 30 DOM tomorrow.

Love, lunch and light, lunch to you all. 🐽💜🐽

23/1

Week 22 Day 7

Medi object choiceless
Intention to remain alert and receptive in a strange place

Evening all! Again no time to post this morning.  30 mins starting with metta.

The air was cooler today but it brightened up to singeing weather soon enough.

Sorry this is brief but I practised and was unable to jot down some notes so it's hard to recall everything. I observed the breath at first and then moved to hearing, seeing and physical feeling. Plenty of interesting sounds - crashing waves, ringing in ears, occasional words of conversation from people outside. I was sneezing initially so it was quite hard to breath smoothly with tickly nose. 

I felt the breeze through the open window cool on my face. After 10 mins, I opened my eyes and kept them open, focusing on a blurry palm tree (no glasses). I noticed after a while the clouds behind had changed. A bit of blue sky peeked through the clouds. 

More time tomorrow. 

Hope you have a great day and practice!

22/7

 

Week 22 Day 6

Medi object choiceless
Intention to remain alert and observe thoughts

Evening all, no time to post after 30 min practice today so posting now. I watched Core vids so allowed thoughts and physical irritation in. 

Hayfever caught me out so I sneezed a few times. After 15 mins my practice became effortless for about 10 mins. I saw swirls in front of my eyes. The soothing mesmerising noise of waves were in background, I heard movement in the rooms around me. There was something flapping in the wind outside which made a regular noise but couldn't work out what it was.

My breathing was not smooth and a bit stuffed.

I 

I had thoughts which came with unpleasant vedana and I observed them and accepted the irritation. Thoughts of irritation as we are in a group of 60. The people sitting next to me last night very very unsociable and kept to themselves despite my excursions into enquiring friendly small talk.

Nice meal tonight, slightly marred by my friend try to work out exact split at the end. In the end we waited for her to finish and then I told the other half of the table what to pay....she didn't notice thank goodness because of slight squiffiness on her part. 

Must bid you adieu to get ugly sleep as need to get up early again tomorrow. 

22/6

Week 22 Day 5

Medi object choiceless
Intention to meditate in a strange place and remain alert and receptive

Afternoon all! Today's practice was a mixed success. I didn't realise how tired I was from the journey so there was a bit of drifting.

I started with 5 mins metta and then 40 mins noting. I sat facing the sea in my hotel room initially with the doors pulled to but then opened them halfway to allow more sensations in.

I focused on my breathing and then hearing, seeing and feeling. Once the doors were open I could hear the waves and the children playing. There is a table tennis table near my room but adults were playing so they were not as boisterous as youngsters.

The breeze is cool but occasionally  I shivered. I can hear birdsong and cars from the road alongside the rolling waves.

Most of my thoughts were about keeping  alert! The cool breeze and noise of the waves was very soporific...mmm oh anyway, I struggled for the last 15 mins but as they say...with nowhere to go I accepted my irritation and continued until the final bells.

Last night I did a short meditation by the window and I kept on hearing splashing and children's noises near me so I looked out and down and there was a baby being washed in a baby bath directly beneath me! Although I love children I couldn't eat a whole one in one go. They are lovely except  if you want peace and quiet!

Have a great day and practice! 🐽 💜 🐽

22/5

Week 22 Day 4

Medi object choiceless
Intention to meditate in a strange place

Afternoon all! A short practice on the plane and will report whilst it is fresh in my mind.  We are flying in clear air winging our way to Cyprus on a brand new plane. So far not too much turbulence as some of you may recall I had to meditate through a bouncy castle flight in January.

Very noisy with one piercing woman's voice which was dominant in the first half of the practice. I started as always on the breath and then moved to hearing, then seeing. I observed a sweet taste of the drink in my mouth and the faint air freshener smell. Occasional wafts of people's perfume as they walked by.

I saw swirls in front of my eyes and this voice was droning in the back ground. I could hear some conversation from my friend (not to me). It seems that my seat is the place that people try to pass so there constant brushing past of people. The seats are upright but since I cannot sit with my back away from the seat for won't of looking strange, there was some drifting after all I did start this journey at 4am this morning! Looking forward to a relax at the hotel before dinner. Tomorrow is a free day, I will avail the time chillaxing and practising. And will recce the nearby shops.

Love and light from 38,000  feet up in the air.🐽💜🐽