Week 22 Day 3

Week 22 Day 3

Evening all, a busy day but was able to meditate for 45 mins this morning before it started. Metta for 5 mins then 40 mins noting. 

Metta today still fairly hard particularly as it takes about 30 seconds to settle. Probably should start a minute in so that things are calmer. 

Noting began with the breath as always and then I cycled through the senses - hearing, seeing, feeling. Neutral taste and smell today. My hands went like lumps again but not as pronounced as yesterday.  After the first bell I had to sneeze, no control over that. I adjusted the coverings and continued. Thoughts of planning came into view and also a scene of some weird surgery...how to fix knees! It must be because I have been watching a lot of 'How do they do that?' programmes. LOL. After 15 mins I had to adjust my posture due to back ache. I watched a swirly show of green in front of my eyes. The washing machine was rumbling every now and then, and then the cycle finished so the alarm went off for a while and so I was drawn to it each time it went off, 3 buzzes and then it stops and it always felt too long between alarms. I had thoughts of a shade sail being put up...which was supposed to happen but didn't as I have to get a smaller one. There were a few noises of cars driving by and also naughty planes veering off the correct flight path. 

Today I had to keep cycling through the senses to remain alert. Again at the end, it took a few seconds to move out of the practice state. 

Hope you are having a good day! 

Week 22 Day 2

Week 22 Day 2

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and receptive. To note environmental aspects and physical sensations.

Morning all! Today 50 mins, 5 mins metta and 45 mins noting.

Today I am sitting in my safe place in the quiet. I have not switched the telly on yet. I believe that this forms some kind of interference in my practice so will keep it off for practice from now on.

Before practice I poured drain cleaner down my blocked sink and wrote a mega lost of things to do. Don't always have the luxury of clearing the deck before practice but possibly this may help the focus during practice. Despite this some planning thoughts came into my head which I tried to push aside during metta.

After metta as I started noting I sneezed three times. I also heard the whirring again and had to check out which contraption it was, but couldn't be sure from my seated position. Settling back into practice I cycled through the sensations - the breath, hearing, taste, seeing, smelling and feeling. After one or two cycles I began choiceless awareness. The whirring of the machine caught my attention first, but there was no regularity to the sounds. In fact they are no longer there as I type.... Then the ringing in my ears which oscillates as there is a collection of sounds within the ringing. On seeing  I saw a few green spirals and watched them twist and turn. My hands on my knees had become an immovable solid of warmth. In the periphery I could hear my neighbours conversing. After the first bell I noted that I felt that my hands were no longer on my knees but were holding something.  This was a peculiar sensation as my mind knew they were on my knees but my sensate self thought differently. This continued for around 15 mins not always in the fore front. I did note the start of drifts but moved away from them. No significant thoughts except for my wondering about each sensation and constantly checking whether I was alert.  As the 2nd bell went after a few minutes I noticed a drift. I had come out of the effortless time and moved into a different more usual state where I had roaming thoughts and some itches. However there was an underlying sense of calmness with hulk hands and tuneful ear ringing.

I also noted a few times that I was tilting my head backwards so I noted the intention to correct this posture and then straightened my neck. Each time I did this my alertness would move to the front.

As the final bell went I stayed sitting for another 5 minutes. In this quietude it definitely takes a few moments to return to day to day life. I continued and the hands to knees sensation returned and I opened my eyes. The calm sensation remains until even now as I finish this report. In the past I abhorred 'silence' but now it is a pleasurable necessity. Not that I don't like to get jiggy to "Fester Skank" by Lethal Bizzie  but there's a time and a place for that....

Have a great day and practice! 🐽 💜 🐽

Week 22 Day 1

Week 22 Day 1

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and receptive

Evening all. Today 20 mins. A few mins metta and then noting.

Today the room was very quiet and I could hear birdsong from outside the flat. I felt my body and breath and listened to the ringing in my ears and the birdsong. Very calm and centred but I did notice that I nodded a few times. Thoughts of planning and holidays came and went. I tried to maintain energy noting my intention to move as I adjusted my posture.

Keeping still helps to bring that steady breathing and effortlessness but I'm in  danger of drifting due to tiredness, so returned to the breath frequently.

Early to bed today as last night. Golfing in the wind makes the body weary.

Have a good practice and rest of the day! 🐽💜🐽

Week 21 Day 7

Week 21 Day 7

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and receptive.

Good evening all. Tonight's mediation was tough. I'm tired and so constantly nodding.

I decided to observe the tiredness, yawning and nodding. 30 mins in total but only just.

I noticed that even though I kept my eyes open they would close and I would nod. My arms are aching a bit from the golf today, my physical body feels weary the nodding  starts from the head and then a glaze comes over the body and the neck relaxes and then nodding. I was a bit warm so I  adjusted the blanket. I also think that the hayfever doesn't help.

All in all, I didn't think much except about trying not to nod. I went back to my breath time and time again but still fell foul to the nodding. I held my arms up for a few seconds to try and inject energy but did not stand up. I heard the heating clicks, the neighbours and my ears ringing  I observed flickering from the telly with my eyes shut and tried not to watch when my eyes were open.

Bed early tonight methinks.  Maybe 1 or 2am???

Hope you are having a nice day and have had the chance to practice.🐽💜🐽

21/7

Week 21 Day 6

Week 21 Day 6

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and receptive.

Afternoon all! Today I practised for 45 mins but it was tough. 5 mins metta was good but noting was full of future planning thoughts and tiredness. I observed the breath and other sensations and now I feel like a nap! It's end of the week syndrome.

I continued throughout the practice to return to the breath and tried to provide more energy by sitting up straighter but it could be that I needed to eat first!

Hope you all have a great day and practice!

Week 21 Day 5

Week 21 Day 5

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and receptive

Morning all! A short post today. Thoughts pervaded both metta and noting. Was thinking about conversations from yesterday and article I read. Today those thoughts were dominant. Metta was for myself today. Noting was not breath centric but noise and thought filled.

I concluded with a mindful look at the Scottish Widows advert I stand opposite daily. I noticed that the sections were not lined up, but only by a fraction. You would barely notice  it if you didn't look closely. Also I noticed what I thought was a light fitting above the ad. In fact all the boards had this  structure...not for lights but to hold ladders.

The smell of cooking bacon drifted across the platform! Arrrgh.

Is it hometime yet?

Have a great day and practice today!

Week 21 Day 4

Week 21 Day 4

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and receptive

Morning all! Today 5 mins metta and 25 mins noting.  Metta was difficult as it was very noisy so hard to keep those noises in the background.

Noting started with the breath and the dominant noises on the train of rumbling and announcements. I heard a conversation at the end of the carriage. Felt my hands on my knees feet on the floor. Thoughts of planning came into view and I noted some aversion. I saw the other train in the platform so jumped on that one a stop earlier and spent the next 10 mins wondering if I had done the right thing as this train stops at a few more stops than the other one. However the environment was much more pleasant as it was emptier than the previous train.

The light was very strong my eyelids and caused some irritation. Strong sensations do not lend themselves to quiet practice.

It seems emptier, must be moving to the end of the week. Hump day today and the sun is  shining! Hope you all have a great day and practice! 🐽 💜 🐽

Week 21 Day 3

Week 21 Day 3

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and focused in a noisy place

Morning all!  Today the practice was 40 mins with a mindful interruption when I changed trains. 5 mins metta was difficult but I will persevere!  There is a little boy in a pushchair who is giggling at something and it's very endearing.

I started with observing the breath and as usual noises on the train were dominant. The skinny woman next to me was wide as a house as she knocked me with her elbow and newspaper. About 15 mins in I felt a cold sensation on my hand and opened my eyes and the zipper on a woman's coat had touched me as she leant over to open the vent. I observed her quilted black coat and how the sleeves were pointed at the ends. I closed my eyes and continued. There were moments of focus but they were hard to maintain. I watched a very short light show on my eyelids. As I embarked on the 2nd train it was quiet but a large group of Italians got on about 5 mins later and the quiet was disturbed substantially as a young boy in their party started to stamp his feet. This sounded the end of my practice.

May have to adjust location of practice! Hope you all have a great day and practice today! Right back to work! 🐽💜🐽

Week 21 Day 2

Week 21 Day 2

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and receptive. To compare locations of practice

Morning all! Today I am stuck on the tube and there is a signal failure so I've meditated for 42 mins and still not half way there. 5 mins metta at the start.

Metta still tough but persevered to maintain aww factor for more than a few seconds at a time..

Noting today was difficult due to the irregularities in noises in the carriage. It is definitely a difficult place to practice unless everyone is quiet! But because of delays in the service there was lots of conversation and plus I had no choice but to listen to an entire phone conversation between an IT contractor and an agent as he spoke so loud. Trouble is with heightened observation the awareness just goes to the most prevalent sensation no matter how unpleasant it is! Also lots of apologetic announcements. For some reason I am very weary...it's probably because I am thinking about all I have to do before I go on leave next week. Just need to hang on for 5 more days then will be released to meditate more freely!

Main focus was on the breath and those very irritating hearing sensations. There is a group of very noisy men who have joined me on this tube and are continuing their frenzied conversation.

So it might be bog medi again today if I get the chance otherwise will hope for an uneventful journey tomorrow.

The Piccadilly line has still not passed this stop so I'm very glad I changed onto this train!

Hope you have a good day and practice! Sun's out here! 🐽💜🐽

Week 21 Day 1

Week 21 Day 1

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert and receptive, see thoughts arise and pass

Evening all! I wrote this after my oractice but have only just managed to post ---

After yesterday's hangout I considered what made yesterday's practice different to allow such focus. I realised a few things...it's a safe place, the place I always practice when I'm at home. The temperature is also just right. The biggest thing is that once I start I keep very still and do not fidget. I'm not sitting bolt upright but with back and neck straight. However with intention I can adjust but very gently.  Also no forcing the breath to hear it.

Today I did 45 mins.5 mins metta 40 mins noting. The metta was tough but I persevered and went back and forth from my focus image many times. Then the noting. As normal I started with breathing but also tried to still my body. I checked all senses and I had an extra sensation today, after taste of milk...can't say it was very pleasant but it was present all the time. The radiator was going a bit ballistic so that was my focus for a while.  After about 5 mins I felt as though a wave came over me from one side to the top and I was in that zone again.  Today though I did not have many thoughts to contend with. One about milk...not surprisingly. I also had thoughts about the practice. Was I alert, was I feeling drowsy? The overwhelming sensation was one of quietness and no movement, or effortlessness. I moved from sensation to sensation.  I had a back ache and adjusted my posture after noting the intention just slightly and remained in the zone. It seems any sudden movement or aggravation would disturb this concentrated state.

However after about 30 mins I moved out of the state into usual practice. Though no change in posture it seems the mind can only take so much focus. Anyway happy to be able to recreate it and so quickly.  The last 10 mins were filled with random thoughts and  content drifting a few times. Definitely have to build up slowly. Also I would not call it blissful even though yesterday's session was a surprise, just deeper. It brings excitement but not a desire to remain in the zone but an opportunity to be even more just present. Yesterday I wondered how long it would last but was equanimity in accepting whatever I received.

Had two lovely days of golfing and meditation...now that IS bliss. 🐽💜🐽😁

Week 20 Day 7

Week 20 Day 7

Medi object choiceless

Intention note every sensation. Observe thought.

Morning all! Today I practised for 45 mins with 5 mins metta at the start. I felt I could have gone on longer but I need to leave go the golf course!

Today as I write I feel I am still in practice and even after opening my eyes I was still vibrantly aware of my surroundings yet strangely quiet. My breathing was so soft yet I could sense every movement. The ringing in my ears was present at all times. I felt my body as one solid piece ultra quiet as though I was a receptacle for sensations.  At first I did scratch one itch but only after noting my intention.As I sat I was wondering was I dreaming...I felt wholly alert and yet so calm. I heard the heating, my neighbours' movements upstairs. I watched a lava lamp show on my eyelids and felt solidity in my body even though I knew my index fingers were lifted off. As I quizzed myself thoughts came into my field of observation some I followed, some were random  All the time I could sense the periphery.

I felt like I could stay in practice almost for ever and opening my eyes I did not want to leave that very pleasant state. In fact it took me at least 5 minutes to reluctantly move a muscle for fear of the feeling disappearing but no muscle movement  detracted from this alertness, it just continued.

Anyhow I'm a bit blathery today because it is hard to explain what I was feeling, not the usual practice, something a whole lot deeper and more satisfying  . A place I did not want to leave and the effects are still with me now...very strange...

Will ponder on that on the golf course! I'm late!

Enjoy your day and have a great practice! 🐽💜🐽❓❕

Week 20 Day 6

Week 20 Day 6

Medi object choiceless

Intention to remain alert, to observe thinking and feeling

Evening all! 30 mins today with 7 mins metta to start. Was able to maintain focus on the aww factor during metta which is good.

I did practise earlier but was interrupted by phone rebooting on its own so I decided to try again later.

The room is pleasantly warm although I shivered a few times. I also had to give into a tickly cough a few times.. definitely hayfever season! I observed my breathing and then as usual listened for sounds then sights and feelings. Not much going on in the seeing area. Thoughts came and went. A few nods, all but the last one caught before they got too big but I accept I'm tired.

I watched time pass by alongside the clicking and whirring of heating and sky box. Feeling my hands on my knees and the air around my body. A prevalent itch came but went.

I'm trying to work out how the thoughts come to be and think it is during a momentary lapse of focus on the breath or sound. If perhaps an image comes into my head my mind may expand on it so that it becomes a scene of some sort. Then I realise,  note it as thinking and then it fades. Must look more closely next time.

Finally a regular weekend. Looking forward to hitting that little white ball and watching the pheasants cavort on the fairways.

Have a great weekend and good practising! 🐽💜🐽

20 / 6

Week 20 Day 5

Medi object choice
Intention to be present and note all sensations, observe vedana

Morning all! Today I'm back to tube practice! Lots of thoughts prior to practice which I has to observe pass away as I started. Today I pondered whether whilst noting should I feel peripheral sensations all at once or one after the other, should I try to observe more or observe the sensations in greater detail?

I observed my breathing and the noises on the tube. I noted that the driver was sitting on a fold down chair as when he got up it banged against the wall. However that is a conceptualisation as my mind put that thought in my head as all I heard was a bang.

The weather is changing, I'm wearing lighter clothes but there is still a fair breeze which I felt around me. My neighbour on one side was reading a newspaper with her arms wide so that the paper touched me, my other neighbour was quiet.

I got off the train and observed my regular advert trying to observe more detail. I mused as to whether the subject had been electronically pasted in front of the painting. I don't think so. However she was holding the paintbrush so that the bristles lay on her pristine shirt and the colour vaguely matched the picture. Dripping paint irked me again.

As I sat in the next carriage I felt joy and contentment and listened to a group of friends chatting and laughing. My irksom thoughts of the morning had disappeared and being in the present was exceedingly good (like Mr Kipling cakes!)

Have a great day and practice!

20/5

Week 20 Day 4

Week 20 Day 4

Medi object - choiceless

Intention - to remain in the present in a strange place!

Afternoon all! Meditation today was 5 mins metta and 20 mins noting before room service. The room was quiet again and I had already noted my aversion to silence yesterday so I did not feel irritated today. I had to hard reset my phone so had not quite set the notifications correctly so the phone buzzed a few times, which caused me irritation. However I did not fix it, I just let the buzzing happen.

I felt that the room was cool and a pleasant vedana. I observed that my breath was a bit ragged as I had been blowing my nose just prior to practice as my hayfever is starting. So the air through the nostrils was not as smooth as previously, plus a little tickly. I had to blow my nose a couple of times.

As I sat in the room, I noted that I seem to be a "all-inclusive" package today at times. There were moments when no thoughts were present, except for the thoughts to myself that there were no thoughts! The "all-inclusive" was the peripheral sensations of the breath, the feeling of coolness on the skin, hands on knees, feet on floor, ringing of ears and the seeing of the occasional flashing from the television which was to the side of me. That and the medi object which was a succession of relevant thoughts where I was an observer. Each came and went. These seemed to appear when I had the thought of a key word, such as "hotel", "breakfast", "work". How these words popped into my head I am not sure. If I was not all-inclusive that usually meant I had got stuck in the content, as I no longer noticed my breathing.

There were a few noises of pleasant vedana outside the hotel - only because it broke the silence. At one point I thought someone knocked on the door so I opened my eyes momentarily. The room service came, so I stopped at that point.

So, roll on the weekend, I know it's hump day, but I'm a bit lost as I've been staring out of this window every day for the last 10 days...

Have a great day and practice today!

Week 20 Day 3

Medi object choiceless awareness

Intention - to practise in a strange place

Afternoon all! Had to get to work before typing this and it was a glorious day today! Meditated until my room service (!) came. Got back to hotel

at 1am

last night.

Metta for 5 mins, then noting for about 20. Today the room was very quiet, as I meditated it almost felt a bit boring! Now I know why people like to meditate outside plenty to listen to. Anyhoo, it was exceedingly quiet in the room, all I heard was the ringing in my ears. I sometimes saw the light from the television on my eyelids. I also saw green light receding into the distance. Most of my thoughts were about how quiet the room was. In fact, could there be some aversion to the silence? Interesting. I observed the breath and noted the peripheral sensations - my hands on my knees, the moderate room temperature, the ringing in my ears. A few itches occurred, one I had to scratch and the others I let come and go.

Here's a nice pic of the walk to work.

L

Week 20 Day 2

Medi object choiceless?

Intention to remain receptive and alert. To see the arising and passing of thoughts

Morning all! Today I have the luxury of practising before I leave for work, because I will be working past midnight tonight.

.

I  started with focus on the breath and  the rising and falling of it. The ringing in my ears was very predominant. I noticed that sometimes my object is not choiceless, I sometimes draw myself back to the breath if I  want to refocus. There were many thought trains today and I tried to work out how they started and watched them until they finished. I observed that if I no longer heard my breath I was lost in thought. So for me I need to keep my breath in the peripheral awareness, so as not to be lost in the content of thought. Most of the thoughts were about planning as the next three days are unusual for me so I need to be clear about what I'm doing. However, interestingly, the people in the scenes were unknown to me although they were doing the things I had planned.

I had downloaded the timer on to a different device, and I think I had set the awareness bell for every 5 minutes which is unusual for me. However I continued and 30 minutes seemed very comfortable.

Physical sensations around the body were that there was a breeze around my calves and I could feel my neck ache for a bit and my back beginning to stiffen. I also felt a few itches but they came and passed.

Today I only saw blurry lights I did not see any floaters today it could be that I was not sitting facing a window light as I was yesterday.

I felt alert and even though I went into the contents of some thoughts I am beginning to workout when this happens so each day I learn more about being in the present.

Hope you all have a great day and practice! 🐽 💜 🐽

Week 20 Day 1

Week 20 Day 1

Medi object choiceless
Intention to practise in a strange place...

Morning all! Today I managed 20 mins in a meeting room. May do some mindful putting (!) this afternoon.

The clock in the room was mesmeric! The tick was so loud. I started observing the rising and falling of the breathing, one of my nostrils is a bit blocked due to hay fever season. I only noticed this a few minutes in. It appears that the calmer the mind and the more focused, one notices more as one goes along.

The tick of the clock was fuzzy, i.e. although the tick was at a particular time, there was an echo that seemed to make it longer than a split second. I could hear the ringing in my ears as a continuous noise with oscillations. I could feel my hands on my thighs and also around my body was a coolness which was slightly unpleasant. I shivered under my armpits(!) first on the left and then on the right.

I noticed in this session that my alertness wavered and interestingly it was as though when my attention was brought back to the area in the front of the mind I felt more aware, and when my attention waned it moved dropped and moved away from that area. I found the clock very hypnotic and now I know why people use a ticking clock to try and sleep!

My colleagues have gone to watch the Grand Prix highlights! I'm going to go and do some more meditation! Be backson...

Ok! Back with another journal of meditation! I did a full 30 minutes because I thought my colleagues would be away for at least an hour and when I got back to my desk they were already back looking a bit forlorn because the highlights were only 20 minutes!

So now to another meditation. I chose a different location to avoid the very noisy ticking clocks in meeting rooms. The sun was shining outside, blue sky, green trees and concrete buildings made for very pleasant vedana! As I started I observed my breathing and the ringing in my ears, I noticed the sounds of various bits of office equipment on standby. I felt my hands on my thighs. For a while I watched the floaters in the vitreous humour in my eyes, at first they were extremely clear, they looked like bits under a microscope, and when I moved my eyes they moved. Interestingly later, as I started to see colours, the floaters became blurry and moved into the background.

No shivers this time, the temperature was pleasant. I felt happy to focus on the practice without worrying about going back to my desk (little did I know...). I realise that as one sits in one position for longer duration, different things happens. More light shows, an itch or two (one I had to deal with near my eye, one I let be). Alertness is challenged and I can feel the alertness drift to the back and then to the front of my mind.

Anyway, nearly checkpoint time, so I'll sign off, I'd rather be out on the golf course than in here but not long to go now! Have a great day and practice!

And it's week 20!

Week 19 Day 7

Week 19 Day 7

Medi object - choiceless

Intention - to be aware of sensations in a strange place

Afternoon all, today I am at work, so I had to sneak out to a meeting room to do 15 minutes practice. Tomorrow I will be do the meditation early before I start work. We are just waiting around, just in case but I can't be gone for long. I did contemplate meditating at my desk but if I'm around my sociable colleagues chat to me!

I mainly focused on the breath, initially having my earphones in, but I decided after 5 minutes to take them out. Prior to that I heard the end of the in breath and the end of the out breath clearly. I heard the ringing of my ears. I felt the sensations of my hands against my knees and my feet were crossed. Thoughts of the day arose and passed.

After I removed the headphones I realised that there was a very loud ticking clock in the room I was sitting in! Did not hear that at all with the ear phones in! I practised with my eyes open and continued to hear the ringing in my ears, although my breathing was not so clear. Half way through an announcement came through the speakers (we'd been having these all day) that the fire alarm testing was complete.

Keeping the eyes open often means that I find a tendency for them to want to shut as I drift off. I felt a shiver over my body - didn't realise I was cold but may be the air was cool.

The weather is so fine and crisp today, when I leave I will be making a little trip to Whole Foods on the way home...

Hope you have a great day and practice!

Week 19 Day 6

Week 19 Day 6
Medi object choiceless
To observe sensations as clearly as possible

Morning everyone! Today the tube is emptier because it is Friday. I am on data duty...have to go and pick up a data extract from a supplier.

Today I did 23 mins noting. I was squashed to one side side of my seat by Mr Hulk to my left. I noted my aversion  to to this squashing. I also have forgotten my work I'd so planning thoughts about that came into my focus and passed. About 10 mins in a splash of earphone leakage arrived...it was surprisingly Vivaldi's Four Seasons - Spring. Retro thoughts of aversion came into my head as husband 1 had taken me to a concert where the orchestra was performing that piece...which I was basically sick of as we had played it so many times. I was so excited to be taken to the concert but gutted that I had to listen to that again!

Got off the train, looked at the ad again and as my connecting train came in I noticed that the woman's blouse had embroidered flowers on it!

Hope you have a great day and practice!

Week 19 Day 5

Week 19 Day 5
Medi object choiceless
Intention to observe all sensations without vocalising

Morning all! Today's practice was 23 minutes noting. I started observing the breath and then quickly moved the sound of a woman on the phone enunciating slowly in a foreign language. Planning thoughts came in and I observed their content like a video. Sounds of whirring and the rumbling of the train were prevalent throughout. As we reached Acton Town I opened my eyes briefly and the sun shone brightly in the carriage. I listened and watched for a while until I disembarked to wait for my next train. The woman standing in front of the green blue painting was in front of me again. I tried to see what was on her pendant but couldn't get close enough. The drips of paint still irked me. I boarded the next train and got a single seat. The woman opposite me is either going to garden or work outside or has very dirty trousers on, make up - two rosy cheeks. I continued for a few minutes then sneeze alarm ended the practice.

Felt a bit weary today and not so alert, but still tried to keep the medi object in focus and all the other peripheral sensations in tact even though it didn't feel as together as it could be.

Sun's shining! Go out and get some rays! Have a good day and practice!

Week 19 Day 4

Week 19 Day 4
Medi object choiceless
Intention to remain receptive and alert

Afternoon! Back to work today and tube practice. Around 30 mins. Today I observed the breath to start with, but felt tired and noted my aversion to travelling today. Negative thoughts of work drifted in. I was ok when I got to work but will need to gird up my loins to remain positive and alert. As the breath cycles continued two women got on and stood near me. Unfortunately it was very hard not to hear their conversation (diction so clear) as they were the only ones talking so I had no choice but to listen in. They were initially standing then one sat next to me. The conversation was flowing and didn't stop even as I got off to change trains. I followed into the content of a thought trail a couple of times as I didn't feel as alert as I normally do. I continued on the other train for a few stops. I think the weekend has caught up with me...had a great weekend but fairly hectic.

Ok short post today, have a great day and practice!

Week 19 Day 3

Week 19 Day 3

Medi object choiceless
Intention: to practise!

Morning all! 35 mins metta and noting today.  Still in the conservatory but I debunked into the living room to avoid duvet practice and heat exhaustion.

I started with observation of the breath but there is a loud ticking clock in the room so I focused on that a bit. I also followed a few streams of thought from start to finish, may have drifted into the content of one.  Today I'm a bit sniffly, I think it's the cat.

I saw some momentary green swirls in front of my eyes. I could hear some noise from upstairs and then some footsteps. 2 polite barks at the door and I knew I had to let him in (not the owner of the house, one of the dogs). Zero came in to say hello but I stroked him a bit then let him be sitting still with my eyes shut and he went and curled up on the other sofa. As I left the door open a waft of cigarette smoke came into the room with cold air, I now realise it was as a result of my friend smoking outside the back door.

A few more cycles of breathing, the other dog came in for attention and few pats then I ignored him for a few seconds with my eyes closed and he moved to another sofa to nap.

Conclusion - dogs more mindful than humans! No chance of just keeping my eyes closed and ignoring my human hosts!

My nose demanded attention and  it was just past the 35 min mark so I decided to stop to await human intervention which Interestingly still has not come after 30 mins...

Time for breakfast. Have a good day and practice!

Week 19 Day 2

Week 19 Day 2
Medi object choiceless
Intention just practise!

Morning all! Today 10 mins metta and 39 mins noting.

I am at my friend's house so on comfy airbed in conservatory. However one problem is that it is East facing...so at 0745...blazing sunshine which heated the room like a cooker!

I started the meditation lying down but felt low energy so I sat up. As I sat I was slowly cooking so I eventually used the duvet as a sun screen resting on my head.

Metta of 10 mins on my niece, struggled to keep focus due to the heat.

Noting began with observation of the breath and then I observed a few thought trains. As I cooked in the conservatory oven, my focus often went to the unpleasant vedana of heat.

The heat seemed to burn through my head onto my eye lids but the duvet screen helped. I tried to keep the breathing in my awareness and the ringing in my ears. Difficult in a strange place.

I continued in this manner for 39 minutes until the lady of the house arrived back from night shift and the dogs barked their welcome. I then got a blonde doggy alarm in reality who calmed down whilst stroking but I has to stop when my friend came to say hello. 

Sun is blazing, off to Bakewell to the market! Have a good day and practice!

Week 19 Day 1

Week 19 Day 1

Medi object choiceless
Intention to observe all sensations when they arise and pass

Morning all! Today's meditation is 30 minutes 5 minutes metta 25 minutes noting.

I maintained maintained a vision of my niece for most of the time and tried hard to feel the aww factor but it was quite difficult to find.

For noting I focused on the breath for a few moments and then cycled around the senses hearing seeing feeling. As always i could could hear the ringing in my ears and also I heard several different tones of ringing. I heard the heating coming on in the house. And my neighbours getting up. I also heard someone sneezing several times it's hay fever time. I felt the coolnes on my arms,and my hands on my knees and sometimes my hands felt like they were in a different position ie they were up turned. When I focused on seeing I could see green and purple swirls every now and then. As for thoughts I observed some 'to do' thoughts but I just noticed them and allowed them to come in and leave. There was a scene of a child going up some steps in a place like where I grew up. This child was taking something to someone. But that thought also passed.

For about 15 minutes i felt alert but seemed to be entombed in my awareness of my hands the ringing in my ears and whatever lights I saw in front of my eyes,  and alongside the thoughts if there were any. The breathing was always there. Usually I swallow automatically a few times in the sessions but today I was able to note the beginning of the reflex and to stop this. I also tried to notice quality of each of the sensations. The ringing of the ears was quite interesting in that I noticed it was not just one sound but in fact a collection of sounds with a lower note appearing for the first time.

The final bell of the practice came soon with no peeking.

Now I am going on a road trip first to pop in and see Elizabeth and then to some more friends.  Hopefully I will find some time to practice at my their house. It will probably be in the loo!

Hope you all have a great day and a great practice!

Week 18 Day 7

Week 18 Day 7

Medi object choiceless
Intention to be equanimous and observe how thoughts come and go.

Morning all!  Today it's quiet and it's an environment with pleasant vedana to practice in, temp just right, neighbours nor scraping around or arguing upstairs.

I started with 5 mins metta for baby Dean, every day is precious.

At the start of practice I noticed a familiar whirring noise which I had always thought was my laptop. I was listening to that intently and had to bring my attention back to focus on my meditation object in metta.  When I started noting, I started with the breath and this whirring noise in mind I moved to listen to this noise and concluded that it was my sky box. Having worked out what it was I felt more settled and tried to keep my peripheral awareness as wide as possible. I noted the rising and falling of my breathing, then I observed any light in front of my eyes, I could hear the sound of the whirring and also the ringing in my ears. I felt my hands on the knees and my feet in my slippers firmly on the floor.

I had more relevant thoughts today in my awareness. These were thoughts of planning as I am going on a road trip tomorrow I started to think of what to bring the thought then just passed. A thought about an incident in the golf club came up and I  watched that and felt some irritation, and then I watched myself hit a golf ball with ease....the irritation disappeared. I had a couple of dominant itches , one on my right ear and I could feel my hand about to go to it but instead I observed its rising and eventually passing. In between it was very intense, I noted how it really calls apon the habit of scratching. At the same time I felt another itch on my nose not as extreme but still as demanding. But as ever in the end they faded, but I can still feel the itch on my ear. My neighbours are slowly getting up so I can hear some activity upstairs. Today I did not look at the clock at all,  I resisted the urge to check the time and the timer behaved itself and the bell rang for half time and then finally for the end without consultation.

I felt that for most of the time I was focusing on my meditation object and my peripheral awareness was very strong I felt that I was ready for anything. I did note the slightest start of a nod towards the end and I  congratulated myself as this is a much earlier note than ever before.

Off to golf, hope you all have a great day and a great practice.

Week 18 Day 6

Week 18 Day 6

Medi object choiceless
Intention to remain receptive. To observe thoughts

Posting now although practised this morning. ..actually completely forgot I'd done it! Doh!

Started with 5 mins metta focusing on my niece.

My phone kept on beeping due to faulty charging cable,  so I had to investigate it midway...grrr...

Thoughts came into my mind but instead of pushing them away and going back to the breath I entertained them today and allowed to come in and fade on their own. I noted that the scenes didn't always finish. I observed some thoughts about plans some about work, a few about my niece.

I had an itchy ear which prevailed throughout the practice as did an itchy chin towards the end.

For several minutes my breathing was quiet and I could sense the ringing in my ears, feeling my hands on the knees and seeing all at once whilst the thoughts continued.

At very end I sensed the beginning of a nod and brought myself back to alertness.

The room temperature was comfortable and the atmosphere was quiet. Swirls in front of the eyes moved with the breath so I watched those for a bit. Very alert and I  felt I was receptive. Tomorrow I will focus on equanimity.

Golf was fun today although one of our group insisted on playing to score which made it less relaxing...but in the end my handicap is 9 better than his so he does need more help! Haha! Sometimes the guys forget that women can be just as competitive but do not always have to play to win....after all its only a game!😁

More golf tomorrow if the weather holds out! Have a good practice today!

Week 18 Day 5

Week 18 Day 5
Medi object choiceless
Intention to observe the arising and passing of thoughts

Morning all! I read the 7DMK Day 3 pinned post and was reminded about thoughts.  So today I am observing them. I started with the rising and falling of the breath, then noted the whirring sounds and announcements. There was a chap having a loud phone conversation at the other end of the carriage. My focus however turned to my face and how cold and uncomfortable it was, the tube was warm but there was a draught blowing through. I noted how my skin was almost painful from the breeze. Thoughts  arose about labelling and then about a story I wasn't part of. I watched to the end and did not pursue the content too much. My neighbour's music was occasionally too loud, I noted my aversion. As I got off the train, I continued yesterday's muse on the poster opposite me. There was a bitter wind howling up the platform - very unpleasant vedena I have to walk up and down to try and distract myself. The connecting trains are not as frequent as the Piccadilly line so I had to wait an agonising 7 minutes for the train. The woman in the picture is wearing a beige cardigan half buttoned with a matching tee-shirt underneath. What I didn't notice yesterday was that she has a diamond shaped pendant hanging from her neck. The paint job still looks untidy and I notice that the top part of the painting is green/blue and then there is a section which is brown and the last section you can see is beige. The next frame is of a man playing a trumpet, then the next is the familiar woman with a black hooded cloak on. The woman painting doesn't seem young enough to be of retirement age, so is the advert saying that you need to start early to get a decent pension? I boarded the train and continued with open-eyed seated meditation. The train was quiet today, and the moving next station sign is very mesmerising. I decided to stop and journalise a few stops later.

I also noted that I was so engrossed in trying to write this post (as my phone decided to play up) that I arrived at my station suddenly - glad I had a mindful moment at that time! Roll on the long weekend, I'm craving it!

Week 18 Day 4

Week 18 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention to be equanimous of all sensations

Good morning all! The sun is shining but it feels bitingly cold . There are sounds of coughs and sneezes on the train.

Noting today with the intention of being equanimous. All sensations allowed good bad or ugly. At the start I felt a hunger pang in my stomach, vaguely uncomfortable. I started with the rising and falling of the breath but was soon drawn to a hearing sensation of unpleasant vedena. I thought at first it was headphone leakage but it turned out to be someone watching a video on their phone without headphones.  I noted my minor irritation. Thoughts of activities came into my head, I watched them until they faded. Tis the season of hayfever so I am now sniffly. Actually very irritating. An itch above the left eye brow came into focus but I observed and watched it invite me to scratch. These itches eventually fade but not completely, so a little urge is always there. Although the children are now on holiday the trains are packed. There's are general busy buzz about them. I got off the train crossed over to my usual spot and decided to observe the advert in front of me. The words are "big things come from small beginnings". I observed the space between the letters, the G fascinated me the most -  it was like an arrow pointing upwards. Behind the words is a picture of a woman holding a paintbrush  I assume that she is painting. However her nails are well manicured and her clothes unblemished. The painting is of a greeny blue scene and there are drips of paint at the top of the painting, which was unpleasant vedena because it looked untidy to me...argh! The next train arrived.

Anyhoo have a good day and happy practice!

Week 18 Day 3

Week 18 Day 3

Medi object choiceless
Intention to be equanimous of all sensations experienced in practice

Morning all! Today a tube meditation of sorts. Seemed to lose my timer, probably did around 25 mins. 5 mins metta the rest noting. 

I initially observed the breath but as much as I tried my scarf was just on the verge of tickly.  I tried to accept the sensation but in the end had to remove the scarf. I did not have a good night's sleep so am a bit bleary eyed. Thoughts came into my mind of Supervet (what I was watching last night). Interestingly I started to bake half way through.. the sensation was not pleasant.. I think the combined  sun on my back and the heating made for a superheating effect. Strange since 10 mins before it was breezy and cool. My clasped hands became unbearably warm. The usual rumbling and some whirring  happened uncharacteristic of that style of train.

Must have no caffeine today! Yesterday I got a free coffee from Starbucks which resulted in profound alertness at 2am even though I was exhausted during the day.

Tomorrow I will repeat my intention as I did not feel I was equanimous enough to all sensations! Have a good day!

Week 18 Day 2

Week 18 Day 2
Medi object choiceless
Intention to remain receptive

Morning all! Yawn! Today I am weary after doing a few long shifts to monitor work at the weekend.

My intention today was to remain receptive to any sensation that arises. I spent a few mins in metta for young Dean...hope he continues to fight!

During noting I watched the breath but my focus was on the sensation of coolness and then coldness on my face. It was very breezy and the doors were open a long time at stations. The Piccadilly line sounds were squeaking and rumbling with announcements. Interestingly the district line does not squeak but there is a constant whirring noise in the background. I had a few thoughts - one of that awful film Battleships with Rihanna...perhaps it was because I had heard one of her songs Black Widow on the radio before boarding the train.

I felt that my eyes were damp not because of sadness do to seeing that film but because of the wind in my eyes. The tears evaporated from from eyes with a cooling effect.

It's sunny today and I thought to keep my eyes open but there was too much to see so I shut my eyes and then didn't notice the light much except at the beginning.

Phew tired already and not even at work yet! May have to have a sneaky nap in bogs!

Have a great day and practice!

Week 18 Day 1

Week 18 Day 1

Medi object choiceless
Intention: stay alert through practice

Afternoon all! Today I did 45 minutes in total - 10 minutes metta followed by 5 minutes focusing on the breath, and 30 minutes noting.

For metta, I focused on an image of my niece for the main and I was able to keep a stable view for around 30 seconds at a time. I kept going back to the image and trying to maintain focus.

For breathing focus, I found that even 5 minutes was quite difficult. I looked at the clock with about 30 seconds to spare.

I proceeded with noting beginning on the rising and falling of the breath and tried not to vocalise the labelling. This meant that I could note much more quickly but it also means that I had to remain alert to drifting. My intention for this practice was to remain alert throughout the practice I  noted that on two occasions I nodded, but came back quickly. I think that in a seated position, it would be hard to completely fall asleep.

In middle of the second half of noting I noticed a sweet smell which has now disappeared. I'm wondering if it was something near the radiator as the heating came on halfway through. Sounds arrived of my neighbours watching the television and walking around upstairs. In terms of thoughts, I did not see any poignant ones, only images of random people. I could feel the solidity of my body and my knees and hands were melded together. In front of my eyes I occasionally saw the purple and green swirls, but I did see some flashes of light but that could ave been the television because I'm sitting next to it. There was an itch on my nose which I duly noted and observed until it went away.  Tried not to manipulate my breathing although I think that when I returned to focus on the breath I may have taken deep breaths to bring myself to it.

It's the second day of being on call for work but everything is going to plan. I have done a lot of decluttering and dealt with paperwork. As I sat down to practice, there was the briefest of planning thoughts but I put those aside, - how the mind tries to trick one into thinking about the future rather than the present.  So now after practice today I'm moving furniture!

Hope you all have a fantastic day and a good practice.!

Week 17 Day 7

Week 17 Day 7

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention: noting noting and more noting!

Afternoon all! Today I did 3 15 min practices one after the other. The first and last 15 mins were noting, the middle was contracting on the breath.

Epic failure yesterday, I completely forgot that I had an evening appointment but at least it was a team event so it wasn't that bad besides the fact that my team decided to name their team Where's Liz so that means that 100 people know that I didn't turn up instead of just 5.

Today I was weary but I started noting vocalising then stopped doing that after a few minutes. The ringing in my ears was particularly loud today and often remains for a while after practice. Breathing was long but seemed harsh, I watched some lights flash I front of my eyes. I felt my hands melded to my knees and the warmth of my body...in fact it was too warm, I had to take my fleece off the last 15 mins.

The breathing third was interesting and actually quite difficult, I looked at the clock once and then had to refocus myself a few times to listen to different parts of the breath. But I made it.

The last noting session was a bit dozy to start off with but after I took off my fleece I remained alert. I had a mega itch in my ear which I did tend to and the guess what, it came back so I just bore it...observed it grow and fade. My neighbours were active upstairs, and I could hear my PC hard drive whirring next to me. It seems that the weather has become damper, I can feel it in the air.....

I'm  at home this weekend hoping to catch up of the continual decluttering of my flat. I have packed up some clothes and shoes and as soon as I receive a delivery I will be heading out to the charity shop...more stuff gone!

Have a great Saturday!

Week 17 Day 6

Week 17 Day 6

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention: to note quickly and accurately

Morning all! Today I had a bit more time to practice, so I did 45 minutes in total. I had set my timer for the usual 30 minutes but felt reasonably alert so did an extra 15 minutes at the end. I was interrupted by the doorbell with 18 minutes but passed the SNAT test.

Today I felt alert and my intention was to note quickly, I started with 5 minutes metta and then proceeded to noting. I began with the rising and falling of the breath, the sounds, the feelings in my body and the light in front of my eyes. At first I was vocalising, and then I began to note without vocalising and and it provided a very calming yet intriguing environment. I was able to observe some thoughts and realised that each time a thought came into my head it was preceded with an image,  I had started to think about future planning. In the middle of the practice a very wide pair of eyes appeared in front a of my eyes,  an image over a black and white scenery - was very strange and shocking. I have been thinking about watching a film, and so images of that film and of how I was to watch it must have drifted into my mind.

My body was as though it was a soft but solid block, and I could feel my breathing as well as hear the ringing in my ears and feel my presence on the edge of the bed all at the same time. During the extra 15 minutes, thoughts came into my head more frequently. But I did nonetheless remain alert.

I'm hoping that this weekend I will be able to do longer meditations because I am on call for work so whilst I am not working I have to stay indoors. So I'm hoping to do more tidying and practising. No golf (sigh) but I get paid for these two days so that is the benefit.

Happy practising!

Week 17 Day 5

Week 17 Day 5

Medi object choiceless
Intention observe sensations and stay alert

Morning all! Today I was glad to get back to practice on the tube. Amazing how the mind becomes used to something.

Around 25 mins noting. I started with focus on the breath and then started to observe sounds. There was a running conversation further down the carriage and the squeaking and rumblings of the train was reassuring. At one station the familiar  Mind the Gap announcement continued until the female voice announcement on the train seamlessly reminded us where we are. The iconic Mind The Gap announcement has not changed for the 35 years I have taken the tube as an adult.

The carriage was breezy and I felt the cool air on my face -  pleasant vedena. A few flashes of light in front of my eyes but in the main the sounds were predominant today. My neighbour on the right was fidgeting, drinking and eating. Two young siblings got on the train and argued about a score..and the mother feigned ignorance about knowing how to play stone paper scissors.

I started to feel a bit weary although not less alert as the realisation of the long weekend ahead dawned on me. At least I am at home this weekend. 

Thought trains there were a couple but of no significance.

Yesterday's evening meditation was refreshing so may try that again this evening. Have a great day!

Week 17 Day 4

Week 17 Day 4

Medi object choiceless awareness
Intention: a short meditation sitting cross legged. Observe physical sensations.

Evening all! Tonight a late one, although I did do some meditation on the tube it was fragmented so I have done a short mediation tonight for 15 mins. I started focusing on the breath and then moved to choiceless noting. It's quiet here, I could hear the radiator clicking but interestingly I didn't hear my ears ringing that much. I felt my legs not quite crossed but I am trying this position out so that eventually I can sit on the floor. Won't be easy, my hips and knees are very stiff! My timer is still on the fritz but never mind, it's late and so there was some nodding. I felt calm and peaceful as though in a familiar and safe place. I have been reviewing my goals for my practice and that has helped refocus my motivation.

Work has and will be tough over the next few weeks so I'm looking forward to exploring my mind and observing the stresses and strains in meditation.  Roll on summer!