This will be the first post of many after the 30 DOM meditation course. I looked back on the blog entries and see that in 2008 I was trying to meditate to get rid of churning thoughts. Ha...wrong! Hopefully I'll get it 'right' from now on.
Week 9 Day 7!
Medi object choiceless
Intention: Remain receptive and equanimous to all sensations
Good afternoon ! How is everyone today ? Today is the first day of our journey outside the course. My intention is to continue to post daily. This is because I would like to keep a journal of my meditation practice. I will resurrect my blog which I started years ago called Zen Lolly . It had all of 3 weird posts in it. 😋 This is so that I can keep my journal all in one place as Facebook seems to put things in top story order. I would like to be put non meditation things into here such as updates on daily mindful activities and facing pork scratchings, umm I mean cravings.
Today's meditation was 10 minutes metta and 25 minutes noting. I noticed yesterday that when I did 30 minutes noting after 10 minutes metta, I became agitated towards the end. So I'd rather be focused on the entire journey than be thinking about when the bell will ring. So I think I'll stay on this timing for the next few weeks.
Today's metta was difficult. I struggled to fix on an image to focus on but I did manage a few seconds at a time and also tried to put any unpleasant images in the background rather than getting rid of them. This may be a learning for me. I thought that I was always good at concentrating , but I think that I am always multi tasking. The bell went for the end of metta whilst I was still trying to piece together a cohesive image. So I just accepted it and moved on to noting. Maybe I was a 🐣?
Today's noting was an altogether more rounded practice. My intention today was to be super receptive and equanimous. I started as usual on the rising and falling of the breath in my abdomen, and then proceeded to focus on all sorts of external sensations. My neighbours decided to clean their wooden floor upstairs using some kind of manual roller jobbie. Typical, I thought that I should pick the time that they are doing the housework. I noticed the mild irritation about the noise which I felt had a mildly upleasant hedonic tone... though they didn't spend that long cleaning the floor. In my periphery, I could hear the heating system, my ears ringing as usual and the noise of some traffic. I also then observed swirling purple and green blobs in front of my eyes.They were pretty fascinating so I watched them for a while. I was able to watch them and also be aware of peripheral sensations. They came back several times throughout practice and I just enjoyed watching them whenever they were there. Interestingly I had some thoughts and decisions that popped up into my head. They were not really trains of thought but I seemed to be able to observe them whilst being aware of my surroundings. One was about the Air Asia plane. I felt sorrow and tearful. I feel very emotional about plane crashes. It may be my aversion to turbulence that triggers this. I had a bad experience on a short flight to Manchester and I've been nervous ever since. I think I've written about this in the past. How I will play out bad things to all sorts of different endings. But although there was momentary sadness, it was contained and I moved on to the next sensation. Another thought was about painting my garden fence. Another was about doing things around the house. I got to watch these 'videos' as as though they were in front of me, more like for information. I felt warm and cozy under my blanket, my posture was comfortable. Oh yes, I had the itches from hell and tried hard not to scratch and managed not to whilst trying hard be equanimous about the unpleasant vedana. The sensations faded, but I thought that as I focused on them the itching sensation increased...almost unbearably..the urge to scratch was arrrrgh! Now I'm feeling itchy all over as I think about it!
Hard to explain but I felt the practice seemed more equanimous...ie all the sensations existed at the same time, so I heard the heating, my breathing, my itching, my neighbour noises and the thoughts together.
Oh one last thing, the learning of the day is not to whatsapp someone just before starting practice, so the start was delayed doh.
Thanks for reading, don't think all my posts will be this long, but I guess I am averse to housework as I am at home resting the finger and the golf course is closed anyway! Ha!
And a last last thing, I thought I would revert to the noting the week and day of continuous meditating..and I can believe I've done it for 9 weeks! Ok 9 weeks minus one day, when early on I tried to meditate lying down and snoozed instead....
Hope you have that joy joy feeling today!
